Do the Windy Thing
by Mr. Nohbodee
Summary: Your name is John Egbert and you tried to singlehandedly bring down a drug syndicate that was somehow linked to a series of brutal murders that were occurring in your town. You also happened to have super powers. Mostly John/Dave M for lovely lovely lemons
1. John: Be almost murdered

Alrright, so I'm officially on the Homestuck Bandwagon... SO I BRING SUPERHEROS!

Summary: John Egbert thought he knew everything about his best bro, Dave. Turns out he really didn't. Now he's got to stop all his friends from being murdered while trying to stop a drug syndicate's operations while not letting anyone be killed, keeping his freindships in tact, and coping with the whole I-am-a-teen-superhero-ness of this whole situation.

***EDIT: It was recently brought to my attention that 2nd person/Choose your own adventure stories are against 's rules/guidelines so this is the edited version rewritten in 1st person. I'm currently working on editing each chapter, but it's going to take some time, so for a while, only part of the story will be written the right way. I apologize for the confusion and messiness and hope you enjoy none the less.***

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My name is John Egbert and I'm pretty sure that I'm about to be murdered. No, scratch that, one-hundred percent positive. Yeah, that knife on the table right there—that's going to go right through my stomach and I'm going to bleed and then I'm going to die.

"Do you know why you are here, Egbert?" There he is again. He's the guy that's going to murder me.

I don't really have an answer. I'm just a little bit fixated on that knife. It's a little scary, you know. Knives. Death. Kidnapping. "Egbert." Oh, yeah, I'm being commanded to answer a question.

"Uh, no, uh, n-not not really…" I reply, still keeping a close eye on that knife there.

He picks up the knife and twirls in his hand. "Alright then. You have 60 seconds to tell me everything you know about Dave Strider." I tense up. Dave? Why Dave? What's Dave got to do with this? Does this guy want Dave for something?

"UH." I have nothing. A few things are going through my brain. 1. Dave Strider is my best fucking friend. There was no way in hell I would ever-ever tell some knife wielding sicko anything that could potentially lead Dave Strider into trouble. And 2. I am extremely terrified of this knife wielding sicko.

"30 seconds, Egbert." He holds the knife to my throat with the one arm he had. Oh, yeah, I had almost forgotten that I was going to be murdered. That was going to happen. Huh. That guy only has one arm. Huh.

Suddenly, the guy is pulled back from me; his knife leaving a cute little paper cut sized wound on my neck that stung like a whore in church. I see a guy dressed in a red suit drag Mr. Guy into the back room and I sit there confused as fuck.

I hear some grunting and some yelling and then the red suit guy comes running back into the room yelling "OH SHIT." Over and over. He runs behind my chair and starts untying me. The guy is wearing a dorky mask of Sweet Bro and ultra-crappy wig. So I'm kind of freaking out because I don't know who the crap this guy is and ya'know, I'M supposed to be the hero not the damsel. Well, now that I think about it, I AM kind of the damsel, so I guess I'm not really complaining.

As soon as I'm untied, he grabs my hand and starts pulling me to the exit.

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT." I hear from the back doorway. Mr. Guy has blood dripping from his mouth and he's clenching the knife in his hand so tight, it looked like his knuckles are going to split open. Huh, that guy only has one eye, too. Huh.

I'm pulled out the door and I hear loud footsteps following me. I try to think about wind and think about what Rose told you before this whole thing started happening.

Wait, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. I should probably start from the beginning.

My name is John Egbert and I tried to single-handedly bring down a drug syndicate that was somehow linked to a series of brutal murders that were occurring in my town. I also happen to have super powers.

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And there it is folks! Go ahead and tell me what you think.

Also, I'm thinking of making a tumblr for the original and for fanart/comics etc. that I'll do for homestuck, but I'm pretty on the fence about it, so tell me what you think!

Thank you for you patience and support! I love you all!


	2. John: Be dead

And here it is! Chapter two of this random ass superherostuck fic that's been floating around my head.

**EDIT! Again, this is an updated version of this story rewritten in 1st person to follow 's guidelines! If the flow is a little off, that's because the original was written in Hussie's 2nd person motif, but had to be changed. Nevertheless, enjoy.

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I can go higher.

"Do it ya damn pussy!"

But I really don't want to.

"Do it for the camera!"

I'm not even scared of heights.

"D-Dave…"

Oh, now I'm mumbling.

"C'mon, man!"

How uncool.

"You're only, like, ten feet in the air, bro. WEAK!" Dave Strider holds a camera as he stands on the grass. He points it at me as I am floating in the sky. The air I am kicking up is tossing Dave's hair around his face. I don't think I've ever seen that cool-kid-mane tossed before. It's a bit distracting.

"Stop being such a pussy!"

But not as distracting as that.

I'm currently testing out my newly discovered magical powers in different ways. I was able to create a slight breeze and move things around with it before… But now… Now it's different. Now I can fly, and man, that shit was cool.

Only, I've only ever gone up so high….

"Dave… I don't think I can. I mean, what if I fall and break something?" I ask looking at the ground. I hold on to my glasses in case they were to fall off my face.

Dave looks at you like I just got to third base with the hottest girl I had ever seen and before I could make it a homerun I told her that I was secretly gay and was never interested in the first place. Also, that I think her brother is cute. That's how disappointed he looks. "Don't you pull that crap on me, Egderp!" Dave yells. "In World War Two, Japanese soldiers were told to kill themselves if they didn't prove themselves in the battles. If you don't go higher, I _hope_ you fall and break something!"

I wince at his words. And so, for Dave, I decide to go just a little bit higher up. I take a deep breath and command the wind around my feet to lift me higher. But something's…different…. Not necessarily bad, just different…. I feel great! I can go so high and there's no problem at all! I can hear Dave cheering me on below. I feel amazing!

I look down and Dave looks like a speck in my yard. I hadn't realized that all the leaves had fallen off the trees in my neighbor hood. Oh, man, I feel dizzy. Is it cause I'm up so high? Because I'm overusing my powers?

Oh wait, no, that's bad. Definitely bad. BADBADBADBADBAD!

John: Be future Dave

I am now future Dave and I'm am freaking the fuck out. "Holy fucking shit, man, wake up!" I'm yelling, which is incredibly uncool, but John looks really he's dead and I really, really, really don't want that.

There's blood.

Everywhere.

"John! JOHN WAKE UP!" He's not moving. He's really freaking cold. Oh god oh god oh god! "John fucking Egbert you better wake up!" It looks like the bone is jutting out of his leg. People don't live when they fall from that distance, but John was different right? John was different!

Then I realize… that this is all my fault. John didn't want to go higher and I pushed him. I made him go higher. I had to spew some stupid shit about Japanese suicidal soldiers and then I sent John to his 'honorable death.'

I'm crying now, totally unironically. I fucking loved this kid. He was amazing. He can't just be dead. No, that's not possible. I wish that I told him I thought he was awesome. Just once. I was always too wrapped up in my 'cool kid' act and never actually told John just how much he meant to me. And now it's too late. God, what I'd give to go back and stop this. Oh god, and I would fucking molest John—in a totally bro-like way—and make sure that that dumbass knew how awesome he was.

"D-Dave?" I open your eyes and I'm totally not kneeling alongside the mangled corpse of my best bro. Instead I'm standing, pointing a camera at John who is only about ten feet in the air.

I'm dreaming. That's what's up. My brain is doing its awesome job and planning out how this would have gone perfectly. "Fine, John, come down. That's enough." Immediately, John smiles, relieved.

The wind hits my face and it feels real. The camera in my hand has weight to it. It's weird; this doesn't feel like a dream, "I know it's really uncool of me, but thanks. I'm a bit freaked out at what I can do…" He has a shaky landing, falling on his ass, but it wasn't into a tree and it didn't snap his leg or his neck. I put the camera on the ground and offer my dorky friend a hand up. His hand is warm, solid. Most definitely real.

There's something up. Something weird. This feels incredibly déjà vu. Too déjà vu. It was like I saw into the future and prevented John from falling to his death. Something like that. It wouldn't make any sense otherwise! How could this be possible? There's no way that I'm dreaming. Do I have crazy psychic powers to see into the future?

Unless I actually did go back… like I wished….

I feel a tear fall from my eye and out from under my shades. "Oh, man, you're crying? Is this some kind of ironic way of getting me to go higher?" He laughs a bit and realizes that I'm not doing anything. I'm just standing there.

I rush over and hug John, ignoring my image for just one second. I watched this boy die. Really die. I was the reason that John Egbert was never going to go to college. I was the reason why John Egbert was never going to get laid. Never going to move out of his dad's house. Never going to play piano again. I killed John Egbert.

And then I brought him back.

Maybe John Egbert wasn't the only one with super powers.

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So tell me what ya'll think! And tell me if I should get a tumblr for this or not... :D See you next time. I love you.


	3. John: Be warned

**EDIT! This is an updated version of the original story. It was edited to fit 's rules/guidelines.

"The Midnight Crew has struck again. Again it is advised that the public stay in their homes. This group is considered armed and dangerous." I change channels, "…With a total of four bodies found on the waterfront, another three bodies were discovered inside the warehouse—" Click. "The body was found decapitated—" My father turns off the television.

"Heey!" I turn around and glare at him.

His face was incredibly solemn; it read something like "I don't want you exposed to such evils." I sigh and flip back around. I get up and went to my bedroom so I can look up the details online.

The plague of murders is spreading across the city at an alarming pace. There have been seventeen bodies discovered total in the past month. At each crime scene, the at least one of the bodies was decapitated and they always found a single ace of spades somewhere at the scene of the crime. The local authorities said that there was a link between the murders and a drug syndicate called the Midnight Crew—a group they had been trying to stop for months.

As I pull up my internet browser, my pesterchum flares up with a message from Jade Harley.

GG: omg! john they did it again! :( You have to stop them with your superpowers or something!

EB: oh! hi Jade!

EB: yeah, my dad just made me turn off the news. crazy!

GG: we should all try to stop them! theyre evil

GG: we could be superheros! (:

EB: oh, uh, I don't know if that's such a good idea…

GG: why not?

EB: well… I'm not any good at my powers yet and… and I'm just a kid!

EB: it's a bit much for a kid…

GG: but you wouldnt be alone! dave and rose and me will all be there with you! (:

EB: maybe… I don't know… I guess it could be kinda cool. yeah! we could be like real life superheros!

EB: oh, dave's pestering me, give me a sec.

ectoBiologist has ceased pestering gardenGnostic

turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist

TG: dude

TG: dude did you see

TG: crazy shit dude

EB: yeah! I saw… jade wants me to go and fight them with my superpowers

TG: no bro

TG: did you see the whole thing

You got a message from Rose, shortly followed by Jade.

EB: what? no, my dad made me turn it off. what?

TT: shit bro look it up

ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead

Before you do, you check to see what Rose sent you.

tenticleTherepist began pestering ectoBiologist

TT: John, I believe it is in your best interest to check the local news.

EB: yeah, dave just told me to.

EB: I'm going to do that now

ectoBiologist ceased pestering tenticleTherepist

I pull up my internet browser again and try to bring up the local news channel's website, but my internet is wonky. It's going way slower than usual and it won't load anything other than the '2's on the website. I tried to bring up task manager, but nothing was working. I was just about to reboot my computer when the screen goes black.

I stare at the screen, extremely confused. I wonder how I got a virus with the protection I downloaded. Not to mention, I haven't been spending ANY time on the computer lately, what with this whole magical powers thing tugging away at my time.

Media player opens and it begins to play a video.

"Thup fuckath." I don't see anything but grainy darkness. The voice is undeniably impaired with a lisp on the 's's. "Lithen up." There are some fumbling noises "Jutht go!" Is mumbled. "We all worked really hard on thith!"

A face appears out of the dark. It is a dark haired boy with pointy teeth, grey skin, and what appears to be horns. Is he wearing some kind of costume? Really nice effects. He can't have been any older than me and he looks incredibly tired.

I wonder if this is some kind of prank. I deduce that it is an excellent one and I make a note to congratulate Dave on it later.

"John Egbert." He says. His voice is hoarse, like he was shouting a lot earlier. "Consider this a warning." Two other faces appear behind his. To his right, a kid with what appear to be 3D glasses and to his left a kid with clown makeup. They both have grey skin, sharp teeth and horns. The kid with the 3D glasses has red and blue… electricity stuff dancing around the frames of his glasses and the clown kid just looks like he's high.

"We are aware of your stupid abilities. And those of the Dave human. Don't to stop us." He said. "If you do, we will destroy those you hold dear." The kids behind him hold up pictures of Rose, Jade, Dave's bro and your dad. "And then, we will destroy you." My screen goes black again and my computer restarts.

I stare at the screen while it reboots, really unsure of what to do. Once my computer has started again, my internet opens as part of the startup restore. The headline reads " Midnight Crew Grows from Drug Syndicate to Full on Super Villains." The picture beneath the caption shows the three boys from the video. The boy with 3D glasses has bright blue and red electricity shooting from his eyes, the clown boy is covered in blood and the boy from the middle holds up an ace of spades card straight at the camera. Scribbled on the card in red writing it says"EG" and "TT."

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Alrighty guys! That's all for now. See you next chapter!

Don't forget to click that review button and tell me what you think. ;D

Love you! Byee!


	4. John: Freak the crap out

Here's chapter 4 everybody! Also, I did get a tumblr. The url is nooksnifferasshatterson . tumblr

And buckets to you too, Tokuni Namonaihito.

Baloe, I would love some help on how it could be better. (I do know about the stupid typos… I think that's my old, stinky laptop's fault…)

So, for the sake of this story, I'm going to call AU and say that the things that are making John's room totally different than John's cannon room are because of that. Thank you and enjoy.

And with... well everything...

D:

EDIT: This is an updated version of this story. The original can be found on my tumblr (That is with spelling/grammar/typos left in!)

EDIT: A lovely guest reviewer told me that I put John's chum handle thing as EG a few times. Fixed it. Thank you mystery guest reviewer!

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ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead

EB: shit! dave! dave!

TG: i know dude

EB: they showed up on my computer!

TG: yeah

TG: that happened to me too

EB: what? really? AHH!

EB: daveee!

EB: what do we do!

TG: well i dont think we should go and try to stop them

TG: if we want to live

TG: i guess

EB: how can you be calm through this!

EB: dave, I don't wanna die!

TG: neither do i bro

TG: so we dont do the thing that will kill us

EB: okay, then. okay.

EB: alright, I just need to calm down and not think about this.

EB: can we meet up? later? and talk about this?

TG: yeah

TG: where

EB: uh… here? I guess. dont tell rose and jade, okay? I don't wanna freak them out.

TG: okay

TG: be there soon

EB: bye.

ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead

I close your eyes and sigh. What the actual fuck was going on? So first, I discover superpowers. Then, shit got real? Or did shit get real when I discovered that I had superpowers? Fuck it, shit was real now and that's what mattered. So these guys that dressed up like… weird horny grey people start terrorizing the pace and they are… working with the Midnight Crew? Or they're a part of the midnight crew? Was the card just a coincidence? Are they even part of the midnight crew?

Suddenly my window starts rattling and I back the fuck into your wall. Where was dad? He had some kid of magical power, too, right? He's gonna save you, right?

The windows open and grey hands part my drapes and I begin to hyperventilate or something. They are going to kill me. These weird demon grey people things are going to murder me and I am going to be dead and oh god oh god oh god. I get all light headed and hit the ground with a thud.

Be future John Egbert

I am now future John Egbert and I am waking up with a huge headache. I am lying on my bed, which is strange, because I remember being on my computer last. I pat around on my nightstand to try and find my glasses, but instead I feel something that seems remarkably similar to a hand.

I look up and see blurry greyness surrounded by a mess of black.

"Welcome back Mr. Egbert."

"Oh goood, is the John human awake? That didn't take as long as I thought." Both voices are female.

I look around the room, in a dreamlike state, confused and incredibly drowsy. There was another grey and black shape sitting at my computer. There was red about that one, too. I reach for my glasses again but they're still not there.

The messy grey-blackness holds out something and I take it, dumbfounded. They're my glasses. I slide them on and see grey skinned girls with black hair and candy-corn horns. Just like the kids that want to kill me.

I start to feel lightheaded.

"Oh no, please don't do that falling thing again. We need to speak before the Strider human gets here." The one speaking has green lipstick on and short hair. Her voice is very clear and concise. She vaguely reminds you of Rose. The other girl has bright red glasses on and a long… stick… Like, for blind people.

I swallow hard, but remain silent, "Those boys that were in the video… They are—"

"Yo, bro, you up there?"

Both girls tense up.

"We have no time!" Whispered the second girl.

"I know that. We must go now, John Egbert, but hopefully we will return. We must talk of these things." They jumped out my window and left me completely confused laying in my bed.

Dave walks in, cool as ever. He seems completely unfazed by the threat made by the freaky grey kids, and there I am, shaking in my bed. Seriously, my stomach is so ill at ease, I might just throw up. But Dave is here, so I can't do that.

I stumble out of my bed, fall into Dave's arms and, without warning, start sobbing into his shirt.

"Bro?" Dave doesn't know how to react, he thinks maybe petting my head might help, but it doesn't. It's awkward and it doesn't help my headache. But I wouldn't tell him that.

"Dave they were-sob-here! In my-sob-room!" I wrap my arms around his chest and bury my face in his chest. He is real, and I'm not dead.

"Those guys from the video?" I shake my head, messing up my bed head a little more.

I let go of Dave and sit on my bed. My glasses are royally foggy and incredibly dirty, "They looked-sob- like the boys, like, their skin was grey and-and stuff and they had the-gasp- weird horns. But they were girls-sob- instead of boys…"

John: Calm the fuck down

I can't calm the fuck down, so I just start breathing really hard.

"What did they do?" Dave's voice has an edge to it. I don't think I've ever heard him sound… upset before.

"Well… Nothing, I-I guess?" I scratch the back of your head, "They tried to talk to me, but-gasp-but they left before saying anything…" I wipe my eyes and try to clean off my glasses with my shirt; it was pointless, though, tears were clinging to my eyelashes and if I were to put those suckers back on they'd be messy again as soon as I blinked.

Dave sits in my computer chair and doesn't say anything for a while. I stop crying and try to calm down, "We need to stop them." Dave said, staring at your computer. "This has gone too far already."

"But what about what you said earlier? And Rose and Jade an—"

"Forget that. I only said it because those jackasses were probably still watching our monitors. Now listen, if we stop those creeps before they get a chance, then we're golden." Dave turned to face me, "Look, your magic wind shit and my swordsmanship… We could handle them." He stands up, "Rose and Jade are tough girls. Doesn't Jade have about a million and a half weapons lying around her house? And Rose could outsmart those dumbasses. And your dad isn't helpless, he's your dad."

"A-And your bro?" Dave shoots me a look that says, 'really?'

I let it pass.

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SBALHOISDLKFJ okay

review and all that jazz

enjoy your life

don't do drugs

done


	5. Dave: Change your mind

Hey, Nohbodee, where's the gay?

Here, here's the gay.

Well, some of the gay. It's not a lot, but I'm working at it.

I'M TRYING TO EASE INTO THIS OKAY! SOIJFKDFJ IOHSOIFJ SDKG

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Dave: Be a liar.

That's easy enough. My whole existence is basically a lie. Well, since I moved to Washington, it has. Prior to that, I was pretty much an open book. The coolest motherfucking book in existence at that. But now… things have changed. Actually meeting John and Jade…. Then this whole time travel shit! It's all…. A bit hard to take all at once.

But there was also the issue of me having the world's biggest man-crush on John Egbert, but that's not really my primary issue at the moment.

Well, since I'm sitting right next to him saying it'd be best if he tried to bring down the drug syndicate that had already murdered enough people to classify as a 'fuckton,' perhaps my need to let John feel powerful or some shit was getting in the way of my better judgment. I had to spew all this weird made-up information for the sake of looking cool! Why the hell did I do that! Sure, Bro would be fine, but I can't just put everyone in danger for the sake of looking brave in front of a guy that practically idolizes me already.

I realize that I have made a horrible mistake.

I wish my time-travel powers are a little easier to control so that I could go back and tell him it was a bad idea. I don't want John to die… again. And I sure didn't want it to be my fault…. Again. My damn 'cool' façade got me in this mess. Why do I have to be so damn smooth?

I sit and concentrate on going back in time. I try to think of nothing but going back to about five minutes to change what I said. I imagine the outcome. John would still be worried, but he wouldn't be asking a bunch of psychos to sneak into his room and murder him all over the place. Hell, he might ask me to stay over for protection or some shit. Oh god, now I really want it.

"Dave?" John asks, tapping my knee lightly. I hadn't noticed that amidst my concentration, I appeared to be staring daggers into the wall. "Dave, please tell me you're not having some kind of nervous breakdown. I don't think I can handle something like that right now!"

I turn and face John, "No, bro. I'm fine. Just thinking is all." In my head I'm screaming profanities.

"—Before saying anything."

Okay, something happened. John is on the edge of his bed, rather than the middle… His glasses are off, too. In his hands.

Effing time travel.

"Dave?" John leans forward and tries looking past my coolkid shades. I recoil.

I'm kinda… Dizzy. And nauseous. It throws me off. "Sorry. Yeah. Okay." I grip John's desk for support. I'm really dizzy. This was some kind of side effect from willing my powers to do shit, right? This was gonna become something I overpower after I get used to traveling through time. Keep cool, Dave. You are totally fine. For sure. Cooler than ever.

"Dave are you feeling alright?" John gets up from his bed and reaches towards me.

I sit up, suddenly, regardless of my time-travel sickness and nod, "Yeah, right as ever, bro." I run a hand through my hair and gather my thoughts, "Listen, I think it best if we don't get involved with these guys. They're obviously bad news." I stare at your fingernails, keeping that 'above-it-all' attitude, "I say we lay low and wait for the people who know what they're doing to take care of this mess." I give a rare glace straight into John's eyes.

John nods and smiles, "Yeah, yeah, okay." He backs up and sits on his bed again, "Geeze, I don't know what I'd do without you, Dave."

My heart skips a beat.

Dave: Be Karkat

"Do you know how much of an idiot move that was! You could have ruined the whole fucking mission!"

Karkat: Be frustrated with your team

Too late. I'm already mid-monologue on how much of a dumbass the rest of my team is. So yeah, being frustrated with them shouldn't be hard. I work with a bunch of free-loading ass wads that don't give a flying fuck about getting any actual work done. It also shouldn't be hard because I'm goddamn Karkat Vantas and my fuse is about the length of a cat's forehead. And a cat's forehead is fucking small.

"What the shit was that!" I can't really tower over anyone, but goddamn does it feel like it. At least with Tavros it I could pretend like I was taller. Once that freak was out of that chair, he'd probably be the tallest one here. Fucking lanky asshat.

Terezi purses her lips and glares at the wall next to me, "Gog, KK we didn't do anything!" She thought she would weasel her way out of trouble because I maybe had a tinsy bit of lovey dovey shit for her.

Nobody escapes the wrath of Karkat Vantas.

"My fucking point, exactly! Where the fuck were you!" I step closer to Terezi and glare into her unseeing eyes, "You should have been here, like I told every single one of you." My voice becomes low and dangerous. Or it feels like it does.

I feel an arm snake over my shoulder and the unmistakable scene of slime wafts into my nostrils, "Whoaaaa, bro. You just need to calm down, motherfucker. Want some fuckin' pie? It'll bring you right down to where ya need to be."

I shove a hand straight into Gamzee's face and turn my blazing gaze onto Kanaya, "And you? You were with her, right? Where the fuck were you?" Kanaya has eyes with the ability to see and ears with the ability to hear, so she better start talking or I'm gonna—

"Karkat, that's enough."

I stiffen and feel Gamzee straighten his posture. _Gamzee._ Slowly, I turn around and face my boss. "Y-yes, sir." I mumble to my feet.

"You were photographed perfectly," A newspaper is tossed at my feet. The photo of me, Gamzee and Sollux adorns the front page. He turns to Sollux, who averts his gaze to the ground and starts rubbing his nose with his finger. Nervous habit. He never did it around me, though. "And I trust the transmissions were successful." Sollux nodded profusely. "Excellent."

He takes a step forward and the twelve of us shuffle into our line. "My children, it has begun." He claps his hands together and smirks. "So for your next mission, I want 13 victims. Do it in… a mall or something. Somewhere public. And I want…" His eye trails down the line as he reaches in his pocket. He pulls out a joker card and hands it to Equius, he nods and accepts the card. "You…" He walks to the beginning of the line, "You," He hands a second joker card to Tavros, who nearly drops it as he accepts. "And you," He hands me the ace of spades. I nod and take the card, running my finger along the top.

"Use knives. I want lots of blood and not a lot of destruction to the building. Get creative, too. Paint a spade on the wall with it or something." He smirks, "Just remember to have fun, children."

Jack Noir leaves the room.

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How do I Jack Noir? UGH.

Anyway, tell me what cha think! Also, check out my tumblr, yo. nooksnifferasshatterson . tumblr


	6. John: Be a hero

So I was rereading this and I realized that the intended silliness has disappeared... I'M CHANGING MY STYLE, YO.

Anyway, I'm proud of this chapter. :]

* * *

John: Take the initiative

I've been thinking too much. Dave was pretty adamant about staying out of the Midnight Crew's business, but they are still really evil people. I can't just sit around and do nothing! But, then again, I can't put all those people he cared about in danger. But the police sure aren't doing anything to stop them! They would just swoop in and clean up after the Crew had already done their damage. And it's not like there is some _other_ super powered kid that could potentially stop these guys.

I need a smoothie to help calm my nerves.

ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead

EB: hey, I'm going to go get a smoothie.

TG: hold up

TG: is this one of those i want a smoothie smoothies

TG: or is this a ive been thinking too hard and i want something sweet so i can stop thinking smoothies

EB: well…. a little bit of both?

TG: bro this whole thing happened days ago and we decided that their shit is their shit so we dont need to get involved

TG: stop worrying

EB: I know, I know

EB: but still, smoothie?

TG: cant sorry man bros training with me today

EB: that's alright. I'll just go by myself.

ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead

It had been a couple of days since anything bad had happened. Dave has been really helpful and talked me through a few panic attacks. It's handy that he's so calm all the time. All in all, other than being plagued by nightmares and constantly feeling like I'm are being watched, things are looking up.

I grab a sweatshirt on my way out and start walking to the mall. It's not a far walk at all, but it was still advised to drive where I needed to. Midnight Crew and all. But it's a clear, windy day and my dad is at work, anyway. I'm fine.

Right?

* * *

John: Be future John

The flashing from all of these cameras is hurting my eyes, but I can't move. I'm numb. Absolutely numb. I don't even move to wipe the blood that's been dripping from my nose for a good two minutes. I just stand there and stare at the lenses that are constantly flashing in front of me. And there are all of these noises. So many noisy people just shouting, saying nothing.

I am completely unaware of what just happened. Or rather, how it happened.

I move for the first time. I turn my head to look behind me. The first thing I notice is blood and the second thing is that my fingers hurt. Really badly. I bring up my hand and stare at my fingers. They're mangled and bloody. My pinky is bent in a direction that no pinky should bend. I'm confused.

"Holy shit! Egbert!" I hear a familiar voice. I hear coherent words. I turn and see Dave pushing through the crowd, actually looking concerned. Showing emotion. Ironic, because now I'm the black slate. Though I don't feel too cool right now. Dave runs up to me and puts his hands on my shoulders, "John, holy shit! That was amazing! Are you alright? Fuck, your hand! John?" I'm feeling really light headed. "John!" I slump forward into Dave's arms and pass out.

* * *

The next time I wake up, it's to the sound of steady beeping, the smell of antiseptic, and the taste of blood. My eyes are blurry and not just from my lack of glasses. I vaguely make out the shape of Dave slumped over in a chair, sleeping. There are soft murmurs outside of the cloth curtains, the hushed voice of my father and a quiet female.

"Oh, it looks like he's woken up." The female voice is louder now. The curtains part a little bit and you see two tall shapes walk into the small space. "Good morning, John." The woman says in a soothing voice, "My name is Dr. Rivers. How are you feeling?" She checks my IV and looks at a file in her hand.

I open your mouth, but my throat is really dry. I nod at her, saying… something. Not sure what, but something… Something reassuring. But I'm really not sure how I'm feeling. "I-I'm…. I'm sleepy." I croak out. I hadn't really realized it, but I feel… heavy. Like I weigh a million pounds and I'm really tired

The doctor laughs, "I bet."

"Wh—" My voice cracks and I clear my throat, "Where are my glasses?" I ask her.

The doctor turns and grabs something off a counter and hands them to me. I slide them onto my face and take in the room. The room was painted white and had light blue curtains with little beige patterns on them separating me from the rest of the hospital. Dave was leaning forward into his knees and his shades were sliding off his nose.

"Anything else you'd like, John?" The doctor asks. I shake my head. She smiles turns back and begins murmuring with my father again.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Dave begin to move. I turn to see him stretch and roll his shoulders back. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and then notices that I'm awake. His face is absolutely blank.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey." He responds. He stands up and stretches his back.

"Were you here-"My voice fades and I cough it back, "Were you here all night?"

Dave scoffs, "Yeah, man." He says, "No big deal, though. Bro didn't care." He gives me a half smile, "Do you remember anything that happened yesterday?"

I shake my head. I remember thinking about that whole Midnight Crew issue and then I wanted a thinking-smoothie, so I asked Dave to go with me, but he couldn't. Then I remember walking to get a smoothie… Then it all came flooding back to me.

The Midnight Crew was there-in the mall. The weird grey people were there and they had knives. One of the guys from that picture and from my computer was there; he held a knife to the throat of a young girl, about my age. There was another who stood with blood stains on his shirt and he was just standing and crying. A third was breathing really heavily as he stood before two broken bodies.

And suddenly, I went from scared to really pissed off.

How dare they come in here and treat human life like nothing? How dare they come to my town and think that they could kill with impunity? How dare they think that nobody would try to stop them? How dare they underestimate me and my abilities?

A quick breeze began picking up around my feet and in no time at all I was tearing through the air straight at the murderers. Cold air propelled me forward and it tossed around papers, bags, and other trash that littered the ground.

I grabbed the biggest of the three and the wind I commanded tossed his long hair around his face. His sunglasses flew off his face and started flying with all the other debris surrounding me. I lifted him using the twisting air and threw him straight into the wall, causing large cracks to appear in the concrete.

Next I turned to the one crying. He wasn't crying anymore, just staring at me with wide eyes. I glared at him and shoved him into the fountain that was behind him. The cement cracked and water began leaking out of the bottom.

Then I turned to the third of them—the one from my computer- and opened my arms. All of the wind that was randomly spinning was now rushing toward the third. He had started running from me, but he didn't get away. I lifted him from the ground and he scrambled about in the air. I brought him to where I was standing and I glared at him as I started drawing the breath from his lungs. He scratched at his neck and his eyes started rolling into his head. I threw my arm out and smacked my hand against a wall that I hadn't noticed was there. It stung, but the adrenaline in my body had me ignore the real pain of it. The grey boy went flying into a far wall of the building.

Suddenly, I stopped. All of the wind died down back to normal and I landed myself on the ground. I just stood there and stared. The crowd that accumulated was screaming and cheering and all around flipping out.

Then the press and the police showed up and the photos began. The police started filing people out of the mall and pushing the press out of the way.

"Holy shit." I say.

Dave laughs, "You seriously fucked your hand up and messed up your face pretty bad." He pokes the bandages that envelop your hand, "They're using the symbol on your shirt as, like, your thing." He chuckled again, "You're a fucking hero, man."

I smile. That's exactly what I want to be. A hero.

* * *

WOO!

Okay, now please review! I love reviews and it super motivates me to update some more!

Alright, bye then.


	7. Jack: Begin the game

Okay, ya'll are lucky that the most recent update was so FREAKING AWESOME. (I mean, did you SEE that corpse smooch? GUH) Anyway, I'm super inspired, so updates have been quicker. YAY!

Thanks IBarfRainbows and Anon for the awesome reviews. You made me really happy. AND SUPER SPECIAL THANKS TO UNKNOWN GUEST for catching my typos. :)

Oh, and if Dave is a bit out of character... I apologize. I wrote this after reading Of Honey and Clementines. If you know that fic, then you know how roller coaster it is. It makes me want to write roller coaster. XD

* * *

Jack Noir: Be unbelievably angry

"—Super hero. John Egbert, a 17 super teen, has the ability to command the wind—"

"—Is now going by the title 'The Heir of Breath'—"

"The Midnight Crew has finally met a match for their—"

"—Who appear to be teenage boys, are not human. Police officials are not giving out any more details about the strange boys that were arrested—"

"—Confident that they can now bring down The Midnight Crew and end the killing once and for all."

I am now Jack Noir, and I finally understand the meaning of the word rage.

I shake as I pour myself another scotch. The alcohol jumps around and not much of it actually lands in my tumbler. I swear I almost break the glass as I bring it to my lips. The alcohol burns as it slides down my throat.

I want to throttle that damn brat. I want to take a knife and shove it into his gut and drag it up to his throat. I want to pry off every fingernail off his cute little friends' hands then drive nails through the tender, exposed flesh. And I would. In time.

The game is not over. Not even close. It's just begun, really. I nearly laugh at the circumstance. Things are looking up. In fact, there is no better way to begin this. It's all perfect, the title, the costume, the dinky little symbol, the cutesy little brat and all of his campy friends. There's no better way to introduce the true power of The Midnight Crew.

Egbert is nothing without me. He is a parasite living off the fame that nineteen deaths brought me. I will make him need me. Breathe me. He will become so dependent and weak. Even the thought of not having this villainous counterpart would bring the child to his plucky, freckled knees. He would lose everything by ending The Midnight Crew. All of this cute little moment of bright and shining fame will be gone forever.

I smile.

"The Heir of Breath, America's first superhero—" Click.

For what is a hero without a villain?

John: Know your enemy

TT: It appears to me that the pattern of whom The Midnight Crew attacks has changed drastically since the beginning of the murders.

TT: See here, John, it begins with people who are obviously involved in different aspects of the drug underground…

TT: It begins with Geoffery Bruce, the smuggler of the most cocaine in the state. Then to Elroy Mikkeny's Gang. They were known for selling drugs to minors all over the western coast.

TT: Are you seeing these patterns? It's simply fascinating.

TT: John, are you even reading anything I'm sending to you?

EB: huh? oh, for sure rose!

EB: I'm just a bit distracted is all. haha.

TT: Well, after killing off 10 major drug lords, they started moving into innocent people. As if it didn't matter who was dying any more.

EB: maybe they just ran out of drug lords to kill?

TT: Excellent hypothesis, Mr. Egbert.

EB: but if they run out of who they originally wanted dead, why keep killing? shouldn't they just stop there?

TT: It says here that prior to the murders, The Midnight Crew had absolutely no connection to any other gangs or organizations. Do you see any potential leads in there?

EB: nothing.

EB: oh crap! I've gotta go. interview.

TT: Best of luck, boy wonder.

EB: haha, thanks!

ectoBiologist ceased pestering tenticletherapist.

I grab my suit jacket and pull it over my shirt. I pause and check myself in the mirror. Trying, in vain, to force down a stubborn cowlick, I run downstairs so that my father can rush me to another interview.

Things changed in the two weeks following the big bust at the mall. For one, people all over America now know my name and face. My whole existence was a beacon to the rest of the world. I'm constantly being interviewed and photographed; I even have a comic book made of me. It's all so strange and nice. It can also be pretty obnoxious, though. I haven't been able to just hang out with Dave or Rose or anyone since the accident. And since I started working with Rose on getting to know the enemy, I haven't had very much time to even pester Dave.

But he's fine with it. He's Dave. He's the god of being cool with things.

turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist.

TG: hey dude

EB: oh, hi dave! I can't talk right now. interview. sorry bro!

TG: oh uh okay

TG: later then

turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist

I feel bad about it, but I know Dave is cool with it. He's Dave, after all.

John: Be Dave

Dave: Be jealous

I am now Dave, and I am so unbelievably jealous of the rest of the world. I'm so jealous that the rest of the world gets all of his love and attention and that I get brushed off. But I play it cool, anyway. I don't care. I'm a fucking Strider, and Stiders don't care.

But I fucking care anyway.

I didn't see anyone else waiting all night until John woke up in the freaking hospital room. No, I was fucking there! I even held his hand most of the time, but I wouldn't tell anyone. His fingers were cold.

I sit at my bed and throw things at my wall. Most of it was harmless. A few swords, a few baseballs, I even throw one of my scorpions -the kind petrified in amber. I'm half afraid that it'll break, but it doesn't.

My older brother opens the door and gives me a look that says stop-throwing-shit-at-your-wall. I give him a look back that says I-will-do-what-I-damn-well-please. He steps into my room and I glare at him.

"Get out." I tell him. He sits on the edge of my bed, "I told you to get out."

"What's wrong, li'l man?" He asks, staring at me through his ironic anime shades.

I kick his fat ass, "Nothing." I say. "Get outta my room."

"Is it 'cause John is too busy for you?" He asks.

I kick harder, "No. I'm fine. Get out."

He stares at me, "Alright," He stands up, "Stop throwing shit at your wall." He walks out.

I start throwing things at my door.

* * *

BEGGING FOR REVIEWS.

YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY! PLEASE REVIEW ME! I LOVE YOU ALL! IT MAKES ME A HAPPIER WRITER AND THAT MEANS MORE WRITING!

Pleasssse!  
*Puppy eyes*


	8. John: Enter the game

I keep getting the sweetest anonymous reviews. Ya'll should get accounts or log in so I can thank you personally.

suckishLEMONADE, thanks for the super sweet review!

And Hearts, I put that in just for you.

Anyway, on with the story!

P.S. I call AU for Jake. I CALL IT TO THE HEAVENS!

**EDIIIT! For some reason I said that Dave was 16... I MEANT 18 WTF? I fixed it now.

* * *

Sollux: Get shit done

"Whatcha doin'?

I glare at my computer screen, "I'm getting the thchedule for all of _The Heir of Breath'th_ friendth." I don't like being bothered while I do jobs for Jack. I don't mind Terezi too much, but I needed to get this done.

"Oh? Really?" I feel Terezi scoot up next to me. "So which one is this?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I feel the bubbling of a headache begin to blossom. "Terezi, can I pleathe finish my work?" I give her a look and I realize that she can't see it and I stop.

"Is it Dave?" She asks resting her elbows on my desk and staring at the wall next to me.

"No, it'th Jade. Pleathe, Terezi, I can't work with you breathing down my neck."

Terezi stands, pouting, "Fine, then." She walks away, swaying her hips. I'll face her wrath later, but for now I need to work. With Karkat gone, things have been chaotic. He was a bad leader, but he was a leader none the less. Everyone just messed around until Jack would come and bark a few orders without Karkat here to breathe down our necks.

I printed out Jade's schedule and placed it on top of my pile of work. Other than the boy wonder himself, these kids had really empty schedules. Dave was the hardest to figure out. I had get Aradia to help you place mini cameras in his room to figure out what he did. Jade was easy, though. She had some kind of weird memory issue because her entire schedule was printed out on just about every surface. She had at least three backups of the complete deal on her computer, too. She even had the schedule dialed down to every little thing she would do each day—including the mundane and pointless. When she would eat food, when she would talk to her friends. It was almost too easy.

I place the stack of papers into a file and set it aside. I need some medicine or something; my head is killing me.

I look around the room at the other trolls. Fucking worthless. If they weren't just sitting around, they were messing around. Making jokes or watching videos on the internet. Then for me, if I'm not doing jobs for Jack, I'm fixing someone's computer. Seriously, I'm the only person who gets anything done. It's kind of shameful.

Well, other than AA… She got stuff done too. Her, Fef and Vriska were sent to go get KK, Tav, and Eq out of jail. They've been gone for almost a week now and what's left of the group has been doing nothing. At all. I have no idea what the girls were doing, but hopefully it would bring back the leader and snap these lazy-ass shitstains into shape.

"AC sighs and rrrubs her head on TC's shoulder."

"Uhhh…. Gamzee pats Nepeta on the motherfuckin' head."

"Oh, Eridan, I do believe you are using that software incorrectly."

"Cram it, Kan. I can use this any fuckin' way I want!"

"Oh, don't be such a sourpuss, Eridan."

"Oh, cod, spare me your input, Terezi!"

I sigh and rub my forehead as I turn back to my computer. I'm really beginning to miss Karkat.

Sollux: Be future Karkat

"It's good to see you back, Vantas."

I stare at the ground, shaking. "T-Thank you, sir." You whisper.

"You've been back for, what? A full week? That's long enough. Right?"

I nod and squeeze your eyes shut.

"I have another errand for you to run."

I feel my nails bite into the skin of my palms.

"We have all the information you'll need. I want you and Mr. Captor to go and get Jade Harley for me."

I saw this coming. I fucking knew this was going to happen. I nod again.

"Good. You'll leave in the morning. You may go."

I nod again and turn to leave.

Karkat: Be Dave

"I'm really happy things are slowing down so we can finally get some time to hang out again." John beams at me. He was dressed in green today. It was weird because of all the blue he's been wearing lately. It's a nice change, though. He looks like John instead of the Heir of Breath.

I do my best to look indifferent, but a small smile creeps onto my face. It had been almost three weeks since I've been able to just hang out with John. It's nice. I've missed it.

"So what do you wanna do? Play some video games. Oh man, have I missed video games. It's always interview, interview, interview. No time to just be a kid."

"We can play video games." I say flopping down on John's couch. "And we're not going to be kids for long."

John elbows you in the side, "You have no room to talk, Mr. 18-year-old! You're not a kid anymore." He chuckles and turns on the Xbox. "Wanna play Left for Dead?"

"Sure."

Spending time with John, dorking around and playing videogames… Things are just about perfect right now. I feel my heart pounding in the most uncool way when I look at John, but I don't care. I just cherish the moment I get to be so close to him. I'm a bit lost in happiness.

That is, until John's phone rings.

"Oh, uh, it's probably my dad." He pulls out his phone, "Uh, do you know this number?" He holds up his phone, but the number is completely unknown. I shake your head.

"Hello?" He pauses the game and steps out of the room. I lean back and wait. I'm a little bit worried. Those weird grey kids hacked into John's and my computer. Who's to say that they can't do the same to his phone. I don't let my worry show, though. Just stay fucking chill.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I scramble to check it. I'm half expecting those fucking freaks plastered all over my phone.

tenticleTherapist began pestering turntechGodhead

TT: Jade is missing.

TG: what

TT: Last night, somebody came into her house and kidnapped her. I just heard from her cousin.

TG: do you think its the midnight crew

TT: That would be the only logical explanation.

TG: shit

TT: Dave, is John alright? I'm afraid that he'll blame himself.

TG: ill talk to him

TT: Alright. Take care, Dave.

tenticleTherapist ceased pestering turntechGodhead

John stumbles back into the room, tears clinging to his eyes, "Daave?" He calls.

Youb turn and he walks farther into the room, "Yeah?"

"Dave, Jade—She was—Dave!" He flops onto the couch and stares at the paused game. "Dave, it's my fault." His voice is barely a whisper.

"No it's not." But I know that it is. The grey people said that they would go after the people John cared about. The message was loud and clear. They'd get Rose, too.

"I need to go save her." He says.

"No." My voice was strong and decisive. I was not going to let John go and hurt himself by doing something stupid. "I won't let you."

John glares at me, tears streaking down his face, "I need to go! This is my fault!" He shouts. He wipes his face on his sleeve. "I-I went and used my powers and now—now they're going to kill her! They're going to kill Jade if I don't stop them!" He stands.

"John." You grab his arm, "Don't." I adapt a warning tone.

"And let her die!" John pulled his arm from my grasp, "No." He glared at me, "I'm not going to let anyone else get hurt by them. Especially not my friends." He starts walking to his bedroom. No doubt to get changed into his Heir of Breath gear. "You should go." And with that, he leaves.

I sit on the couch, ready to pull my hair out when I notice that John left his phone on the couch. It lights up with a new text.

'WELCOME TO THE GAME, FUCKASS.'

* * *

SO REVIEW ME SOME MORE! Ohmigawsh, you guys. YOU GUYS! You make my day sparkle.


	9. Dave: Gain some enemies

Howdy.

I've been playing SCP Containment Breach. IT'S. SCARY. Anyway, that might leak into the story just a tad.

Also, I got two different reviews asking me to marry people. I'm sorry ladies, but I'm in a committed relationship with Slenderman.

* * *

Dave: Don't take this shit

I am Dave and I'm not going to take this shit. John isn't the only brat in this town with super powers and I'm sure as hell not going to let him get killed going on this suicide rescue mission.

I've been practicing using my powers in my free time. I've found that going back in time gets harder and harder the more I do it, and I keep having weird reactions to it. I've started getting really bad bloody noses when I do it, and I often pass out for hours at a time. But I've discovered other uses for my powers. I can slow down and speed up time with minimal consequences. A minor headache later on means yI could essentially pause the rest of the world. So that was pretty fucking awesome.

I decide that I need a disguise. I can't let the media know that I've got something to do with this crazy shit and I sure as hell can't let John know. I grab one of my sweet-as-all-hell black suits and a white fedora. I look in the mirror and, yes, I look fucking amazing, but I still look like Dave Strider. I rifle through some drawers and find a pair of cherry red sunglasses and I put those on, too. Perfect.

On my way out I make eye contact with my bro. He just nods and I'm out the door.

God, he's awesome.

Dave: Be Karkat

I am now Karkat and I feel really awful. And not like my-conscious-is-bothering-me-because-I-just-kidnapped-a-defenseless-teenaged-girl awful. Like, sick to my stomach awful. I haven't been able to hold down any food since I came back from that god-awful laboratory. They stuck me with so many needles and took so much of my god-awful candy red blood to do who knows what with it.

They were most interested in Tavros's blood; I noticed when I was there. They treated him the worst. They were constantly taking samples of his blood, skin, hair, flesh, whatever they could cut off of him. By the time we all got back, Tavros looked a mess. Kanaya tried saving his hair by styling it into a Mohawk- esque thing, but he still looks like shit. And his legs are completely fucked up now. Before, he could feel shit, but he couldn't move them. Now they're just pointless appendages dangling off his body.

I run into the bathroom and puke again. All that comes up is stomach acid. I slide down the wall and sit on the ground. Fuck this place.

Fuck this goddamn shithole of a place. Fuck all of the others. Fuck my luck. Fuck Jack. Fuck it all.

I force myself to stand and start washing my mouth out. I make a point to ignore my reflection. Just as I leave the bathroom, I see a streak of dark green fly past my vision.

I rub my eyes, thinking it was just another fucked up side effect from some of the injections from the stupid humans, but then I hear surprised screams. I try to hurry to the other room to see what's going on, but I'm crazy dizzy and have to stop. As I kneel and catch my breath, I notice another figure in one of the back rooms looking like they should not be there. I slink back into the shadows to wait to see who it is.

The figure reaches up and pulls something off their face—glasses. They caught a small bit of light that glinted red. The figure is distinctly male and wore something of a suit, I think. He steps forward, as if watching something in the other room. More shouts. The light finally shows the figure's face.

And it's goddamn Dave Strider.

What the actual fuck is going on?

"KARKAT!" That sounds like Nepeta. Said cat girl bursts into the room, panting. Dave retreats into the shadows and puts the glasses back on. Nepeta runs up to me and grabs the sides of my shirt, "Karkat everything is going wrong! It's a cat-tastrophe!" I audibly groan and follow her into the other room.

On my way out, I look back to the corner where Dave was hiding to find it empty. "What the fuck is going on, anyway?" As she pulls me into the main room, I knew. Standing on a window ledge, brandishing a gun stood a masked man clad in emerald green. Printed on his shirt is a black skull.

"Ah-ha! Is this your leader? Smashing!" The man jumps down and holds out his guns, ready to shoot at any sudden movement. His voice is totally different than his body language. High and chipper versus cautious and rigid. "Now I want the girl you took yesterday back." He holds a gun to my forehead. So much for a team looking out for their leader.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I growl, glaring up into his eyes. Green.

"Why, I'm the Golgothas Terror. And I want the girl back."

Then I'm drenched in the red of this 'Golgothas Terror.'

Karkat: Be Dave

Dave: Stop this guy from being murdered

I am now Dave and I just went through a timeline where the freaky clown grey-skinned freak smashes this green-clad super hero's head in and his blood splatters on the angry guy's face. I take a breath, keep your cool, don't look at the blood, and jump backwards about three minutes to stop the kid from even getting the juggling pin. Yeah, yeah, I promised myself I wouldn't do any jumping, but this guy reminded me of someone and he wanted to rescue Jade, so I should stop him from being beaten to death by a makeup-wearing freak show.

I rush in and grab the juggling pin and smack the clown guy in the gut. I then hold it at the ready for any other attack heading my—Or this green guy's—way.

The man is surprised to say the least, but he keeps calm and looks at the gathering crowd with fire in his eyes. I try to get a better look at the guy's face, but another one of the grey people-things is trying to advance an attack.

"Hey, green guy." I say as I slide to his cover his back. He momentarily flicks his eyes over to me before focusing on the short grey thing. Alright, sweet, he's listening, "I'm here to rescue Jade, too!" I hear the sound of a chainsaw revving up and I feel my heart pounding. The green guy nods at me and I tilt my head towards one of the open doors in the corner. He nods and I take a breath and run into the door to begin my search. Jade could be anywhere and I don't have a lot of time what with these weirdos hot on my trails.

I ignore the footsteps behind me and keep running through the labyrinth of hallways. I also ignore my light head and the headache blossoming behind my eyes.

I hear a few shots ring out from the room I just left and hope that I didn't just leave that guy to die a second time. I wonder if I even have enough energy to go back to save that guy's ass again. I keep running through corridors and opening doors just to find bleak bedrooms until I see a room with a light on. There! That's gotta be it. Maybe.

I dash to the door only to find it locked. Of course. The sound of a chainsaw cuts through the air. I really hope that the green guy is alright.

Without a second thought, I begin kicking down the door. It doesn't take much before it splinters open because the door is flimsy and I'm a fucking god. Jade is huddled on the ground, blindfolded with her hands bound together. Alright, thank fucking Jegus that this was the right room.

She flinches at the sudden opening of the door.

"H-Hello? Which one are you?" She sounds withered.

I decide that Jade doesn't need to know that it's _me _rescuing her (you didn't want the others finding out.) so I just throw her over my shoulder without any warning. "WHAT THE CRAP! Put me down put me down right now!" She tries hitting your back, but it doesn't do anything. I notice that there was nobody behind me as I start to find my way out of the god-forsaken building.

"I'm getting you out of here." I say in a low, quiet voice. She stopped wriggling as much.

I jog a bit and the gunshots, shouts, and rev of the chainsaw grow louder.

"Dave?"

I ignore Jade and start running faster. I try to remember how I would pause stuff and focus really hard on that. Blood is dripping from my nose and everything's really distracting, but I try.

I navigate my way back into the main room and it appears that the grey guy is still alright. But everyone's just staring at one of the grey people. Then I notice that it worked… well, kinda. One of the female-looking grey things was frozen, holding a chainsaw over her head.

Wicked.

"What are you doing just standing there!?" A deep voice bellows across the room. All heads snap to see a grisly man standing in a doorway. He's wearing a black suit and fedora.

I make eye contact with the green guy and we're both jumping out a window onto a ledge, the grey people on on heels. I can't seem to shake it, but this green guy seems so familiar... I can't quite place it, though.

"How the shit are we gonna get down?" I ask breathless, staring at the three story drop as I shimmy across a small ledge.

"I set up a ladder over here." He responds, rounding the corner.

Somehow, we both manage to get down the ladder while keeping a fussy Jade alive and sprinting to a jet black car.

The green guy slides into the driver's seat and I kind of awkwardly stand there. I didn't really think this through… I had no getaway.

"Well, chap, get in." He says, leaning over and opening the passenger's side. "It's me!" He pulls off the mask to reveal buck teeth and bright green eyes under a mop of black hair. DUH. That voice, that dumb accent. It's my brother's weirdo boyfriend. I've only met him once or twice—My bro liked to keep his romantics separate from his 'fathering'- but he's so distinctive, I almost feel dumb for not being able to place him earlier. "Get in the car before they catch up!"

Without another word, I set Jade in the back and get in the front.

We drive home in silence save for a few muffled sounds from Jade in the back. It was mean, but I kind of liked having her mouth shut for a while.

Jake takes me home first and promises to visit the next day so we can talk about all the shit that went down tonight. I nod and walk into my house, bro nowhere in sight. Normally I'd stay alert, but I don't think you've ever been this exhausted before in your life.

I don't even care when a shit ton of gross-ass smuppets fall onto me as you flop onto my bed. I just want to sleep.

Dave: Be Karkat

I am now Karkat and I am cursing that goddamn fucking Dave Strider to hell and back and back to hell. I want to punch my computer and kick down a wall. I want to strangle any dumbass that would try to calm me down. I want to throw up because I'm really not feeling well.

I end up passing out on the ground from over-exertion. All of that fighting and the sad attempt to follow the fucker to Jade's room was all too much for me in this condition. My eyes fall shut while his name taints my lips.

* * *

WOO! That was a long chapter, wasn't it? Here's something the hold onto- WE'VE GOT A LEMON COMING UP REAL SOON! WOOOOOOO! Everybody, wake the fangirls! THE GAY IS FINALLY GOING TO HAPPEN!

So anyway, about reviewing...

do it.

:D

YEAH!


	10. Jade: Tell the story

Howdy. Back again. Ya'll always have the sweetest reviews. Every time they read them I just flip out.

ALSO! WARNING! SOME LOVINS IN THIS AS IN SEXYTIMES! I haven't had any sexytimes yet so I felt like a warning might be in order.

Reader: Check out that sweet cover art

You check out that sweet cover art and think to yourself 'whoa, someone actually drew cover art for their fanfiction.'

Reader: Continue reading fanfiction

* * *

John: Be so incredibly relieved

"OHMYGOSHJADE!" I quickly run past Dave and Rose to go meet Jade in a rib-cracking hug. Things were getting way too personal with the Midnight Crew. Things were getting out of hand! I bury my head in her hair and do my best to man up and not cry. "I was so worried! I was doing all I could to find out where they took you, but I couldn't figure it out! JADE I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T COME SAVE YOU!"

She looks a lot better than I expect. She was only there a little while, but she didn't look beat up or anything. Though, she did have a cut on her upper arm. Otherwise, though, she looks just like she always does—bubbly, cute, sweet.

Jade squeezes me back so tight I actually get light headed, "its okay John, I'm okay now." She whispers. I pull back and see Jade crying with a big grin on her face. "I got help." I don't notice the significant glance she sent to Dave.

Rose takes Jades hand into hers and squeezes, "We were all extremely worried, Jade. I'm so relieved that you're alright."

"I'm really happy to see you guys, but I'm supposed to be on the news to talk about what happened," Her eyes grew dark for a moment, "You guys should watch. Just for me!" She beams at me all and I nod.

"We can all watch it at my house!" I smile at Rose and Dave and turn back to Jade.

I don't notice Dave giving her a look that said don't-you-dare-mention-my-goddamn-name.

Jade walks back to her cousin's car just as the raven-haired man jogs to meet up with us, "Hello, chaps." He says, "Uh, Dave, could I have a word with you for just a tick, please? It's, uh, about your brother."

John: Be Dave

Dave: Go have a word with Jake about "Your brother."

"Uh, sure." I walk over to the side as the others go to chat with Jade for another moment.

"So this isn't really a proper place to talk about the shenanigans that took place last night, but I don't have any time otherwise." Jake says in a hushed tone, "Let's just go with, if I don't tell anyone, you won't tell anyone, sound good?"

"Uh, sure, whatever." I say, trying to stay calm. I'm not worried if Jake'll talk, it's Jade I can't trust. If Jade talks about me in that interview, I'm fucked for sure. Will Jake be able to get her to keep her mouth shut? If John finds out he's going to flip a bitch and if the world finds out then I'm a dead man—by the hands belonging to that voice that shouted at those kids no doubt. Goddamn. Things were getting way out of hand.

I feel a firm hand on my shoulder, "Dave, this is important, so you better well listen to me. I'll ask again, does your brother know what you did last night?"

"Well, he knows I went out with a dumb outfit on. But no, he doesn't know that I went and played hero." I say shoving my hands into my pockets.

"Alright, he thinks that I've stopped gallivanting around the city and I'd like to keep it that way. So don't mention this to him, either." He waits until I nod, "Alrighty, then. I best be off." He says and then turns to leave.

Dave: Be Karkat

So now I'm Karkat and I'm a bit obsessed with watching the video feed coming from Strider's room. Since those fuckasses left the night before, I've been doing my best to find out every little thing about Dave so I can have every little thing I could to use against him.

Only, so far I've only seen the damn brat walk in and flop on his bed to be showered in a rain of ass-plush toy things, get up in the middle of the night with a bloody nose that lasted FOREVER then go to sleep in his boxers. That gives me a total of abso-fucking-lutely nothing about Dave Strider other than he sleeps in a pile of ass puppets practically in the nude.

I shake my head because that thought was a tad TOO disturbing for my poor brain. Not after what those fucking scientists did to me.

"Hey, Karkat?" Terezi pokes her head into my room.

I groan, "What?" I snap, keeping my eyes on the screen in case Strider comes back with some kind of helpful information on how to bring him to his knees.

Terezi shifts slides into my room and shifts her weight to the side, "Oh my jegus, I was just coming in to check on you. You haven't been out all day and you haven't been 'well' since they captured you. Are you feeling alright?" Her tone turns softer. As if she's actually concerned about how I feel.

"Hey, Terezi. How many fingers am I holding up, huh?" I raise my middle finger to her face and she frowns. I do this to her when she's bothering me. The "how many fingers am I holding up" game always pisses her off.

"Oh fuck you, Kar. I was just trying to be nice!" Her voice aches and I almost feel bad. "It wasn't funny the first time and it's not funny now." She turns on her heel and leaves, slamming your door behind her.

I roll your eyes and look back at the screen to see Strider waltz in. I feel a bit bad for antagonizing Terezi, but this was important. I need to get my revenge on this brat. This is work. This is something that Jack would want me to do. For the greater good. For all of my people. I'm not obsessed.

Dave flops onto his bed and scrolls through his phone a moment before rolling over and closing his blinds. He also walks over to his door and peeks outside of it, locks it, and returns to his bed. He just lays there a moment and I'm perplexed. What's with the sudden need for secret security? Why would he just lock himself in his—

Oh.

Oh my.

He reaches down and starts palming his crotch with one hand and starts to pull up his shirt with the other. I'm embarrassed at this human display of vulnerability and intimacy, but I must continue watching… For science…. And stuff.

Dave unzips his skinny jeans and inches them, along with his boxers off his ass, exposing his erect human bulge to the air. I'm surprised to see that our anatomy and his are… sickeningly similar.

He starts lazily drawing his fingers up and down his bone bulge and I'm starting to feel like I'm going a bit too far, but I don't stop. This could be helpful… somehow… This could lead me to some serious conclusions about Dave's weaknesses…. Weaknesses like he falls to pieces when you rub up and down the inside of his thighs when he's horny.

Oh fuck, I might be getting a little bit tur—no, no, this is scientific! I am not turned on. Especially not by some dumb human and especially not by goddamn fucking Dave Strider!

I shake my head and move my curser to the red x in the corner of the video when Dave lifts his hips and starts groaning in pleasure. White stuff is pooling down his bulge. There! Useful information! Dave has white blood… That must be some strange human blood color. The Jade human had red blood—mutant blood like mine. I wonder where Dave belongs on the hemospectrum.

"Ahh… John… Nghh…."

OH.

That's interesting. So the Dave human harbors sexual desire for the John human. That is a vital piece of information to bring Dave down. End John, end Dave.

Dave's now thrusting into his hand and moaning John's name pretty loudly when he suddenly pushes himself up and flips over so he's on his knees and his glasses are sliding off his nose. He keeps pumping his bulge until he sounds like he's choking and white shoots out of him onto his bed. His shades fall off as he shudders. I'm fully erect now, and you're a bit angry that someone like Dave Strider could invoke such a feeling.

Dave's panting and sounding satisfied. He rolls over and lies for a moment, his bulge softening, when I see that his dilated red eyes look across the ceiling until they fall straight onto me. My heart sinks as he sits up to get a better look, then his eyes widen in horror.

He pulls up his pants and grabs his shades before walking over to his desk and grabs a weird sharp star thing out of a drawer. He turns and throws it directly at the camera and the feed cuts to static.

I'm a bit disturbed at how turned on I still am.

Karkat: Be John

John: Watch the news

I am now John and I'm crammed on my couch with Rose on one side and Dave on the other. The local news is on and I'm waiting to hear Jade's story. I'm excited, Jade refused to tell me anything that happened, so it'll all be new to me.

"And now an incredible story of a young girl whose life was saved by not one, but two new heros. Jade Harley, an 18 year old college student was abducted from her home Thursday night by three agents of the Midnight Crew. Here's Matthew Sunscott with the full story."

The screen shows Jade in a blue ruffle dress talking to a man in a suit.

"So, Jade, would you mind telling us about what happened the night when you were first attacked?" The man asks.

Jade smiles and stares at her knees," Uh, yeah…" She says, "I don't really know what happened, because it was so dark, but I remember hearing gun shots from down stairs—my grandfather was always really protective, especially now, with all that's been going on." She tucks some of her dark hair behind her ear, "Well, my door opens and all the lights in the house are off, so I can't see who it is or anything. Then someone grabbed me and took me out of the house through one of our side exits." Her tone turns from her slightly bubbly one to something much graver.

"It was like they knew my house. We have a lot of kinda hidden exits and they knew exactly how to get there… Like it wasn't their first time there…" She's not smiling at all anymore, "They blindfolded me after that. I don't know where they took me."

Matthew puts a comforting hand on her shoulder and she looks up, smiling again, only this time it looks a lot more forced.

"Would you mind telling me what they did after that?"

Jade nodded quickly and started staring at her light blue shoes, "They cut my arm," Her hand quickly went to cover the red wound on her arm, "And told me to keep quiet or they'd do worse." She looked up again, "But it didn't seem like they wanted to. It was like they were told to do something… kinda like chores at home or something."

Matthew nods, "Now, let's hear the happy part of the story. Why don't you tell us about the rescue?" I feel Dave tense up next to you.

"You okay, bro?" I ask, turning to him. He looks like he's about to bolt out of the room as soon as he gets a chance.

He turns to me and relaxes, "I'm cool, man. Fucking cool." He turns back to the TV.

"Well, I was blindfolded again and I heard gunshots and screams and I got kinda scared, but then the door opens and I hear someone come in he picks me up and says that's he's saving me. As he's running me out of the building, my blindfold falls off and I see that he is making the people that kidnapped me… just stop. Like he could pause them—like they were a movie or something." She smiles again, "It was like he had magical time powers or something."

My jaw drops, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Time powers? If it were two months ago, I wouldn't believe it in a million years, "I laugh, "But time powers…That sounds flipping amazing! Imagine the pranks I could pull if I had time powers!" I elbow Dave in the side and wink, but he's not playing along. He's still staring at the screen.

"So the Hero of Time—that's what I call him—he meets up with the man in green and they get me out of there somehow and we're driving me home. We were driving for a really long time though, I think they got lost. I have no idea where we were." She smiles, "But I'm so thankful. If it weren't for the Hero of Time and the man in green I'd be dead."

"Thank you so much for coming in to share that amazing story, Miss Harley." Jade kicks her shoes around modestly.

"That really was an amazing story! I can't wait to ask Jade about it later," I don't really notice that Dave is freaking out beside me.

* * *

UGH. HOW DO I REPORTER!?

Anyway, review, tell me what ya'll think about the cover art. Blah blah blah

Also, review.

Also, about Jade's grandpa… AU, I CRY! A U!


	11. Dirk: Make a decision

I would like to dedicate this chapter to Scodia, who left me THE MOST WONDERFUL REVIEW EVAR. Oh my god I was smiling so crazy wide when I read it. YOU SHOULD GET AN ACCOUNT SO I CAN PM YOU. :DDDD

Its reviewers like this that make me want to update faster.

Oh, and mini lemon. YAY!

* * *

I thought things were finally slowing down with the Midnight Crew, but I was wrong. Red static crackles at my feet and I try to pick up speed, but I'm already wheezing. I command the air around me to split in my favor, propel me forward, but electricity is stinging my back. I turn and the kid with 3-D glasses is shooting forward, streams of red and blue flying everywhere.

"Ohshitohshitohshitohshit," I chant as I round a corner and try to figure out how to do something—anything to get this guy to stop.

I stop suddenly, and turn around quickly and blast frigid air into his face. The boy is pushed back and his glasses are knocked off, revealing that his eyes are also red and blue. This seems to anger him, but I'm done running. The power crazed wind hero side is taking over, now and it's my turn to take the offense.

The boy is knocked back by another blast of air and I land on the ground gently. "You can go back and give everyone else a message, or I can just let the researchers take you. I heard the others broke out, I'm sure they'd be happy to get a new subject."

John: Be Sollux

I'm now Sollux and I'm weighing my options. If I were to complete the mission, but be caught by the researchers, I'd be screwed. Karkat mentioned that the more obscure your blood color, the more likely to have the crazy fucked up experiments. Another downside to my fucking mustard blood. However, if I were to leave now, Jack would probably do much worse. Either way, it's a lose, lose situation for me.

I hold my hands up and shoot as much energy as I can into John's face. As he's reeling back, I run to the side where a crowd has formed and grabbed one of the people in the front.

The woman starts to scream, so I cover her mouth with my hand, swallowing hard, I whisper in her ear, "I'm tho thorry," before I move to electrocute her.

Only, the goddamn hero swoops in and saves the fucking day. He punches me in the face which wasn't that bad, but a punch in the face is still a punch in the face. I turn and see him pulling back for another, only this time there are little bits of wind swirling around his fist. That's going to break some skin, I can tell. I kick her forward again and step back.

"I'm going." I say, backing up with my hands up, "I'm leaving right now."

John lowers his hand and glares at me as I turn and run back to the hideout. Jack's gonna be pissed, but somehow, I think that taking a beating from some wimpy 17 year old _then _having fucked up experiments done to you is harder on my pride. And I like my pride.

I try not to notice that the crowd is now cheering and pretend that I'm really the good guy. Somehow.

Sollux: Be future Sollux

"I fucked up, KK. Oh shit, I fucked up big time." I'm leaning my forehead against a wall, willing the impending punishment away. I'm starting to regret leaving the scene like that. Jack's pissed. Jack's so pissed and I know it.

I feel Karkat slap my arm, "Shut the fuck up. You sound like a whiny-ass human wiggler that missed feeding day." How can he be so calm!? Jack's probably going to kill me, or cut off my limbs or some shit.

I glare at Karkat through the sides of my glasses, "I'm going to die, KK. He'th gonna kill me. Fuuuck…" I sink to the ground, my forehead scraping against the concrete wall. "What wath I thinking? Running away like that… Gog, I'm thuch a child! I gueth I detherve it, huh…" I'm trying to find some kind of closure. I wonder how he'll do it. Probably with knives.

"Didn't I just tell you to shut your goddamn mouth? Jegus, fuckass." Karkat kneels next to me, "He's not going to kill you, I think. I mean, he already lost Tavros and he thinks that you're important. He needs your computer shit and you're the only one of us with real psychic power-y shit. Now stop your fucking complaining and get off the goddamn floor." Karkat lifts your arm and attempts to pull you up. You weakly let him.

I lean on his shoulder and dampen his black shirt with disgusting yellow tears. Not once do I let him know just how relieved I am to hear his reassurance.

Sollux: Be Rose

I am now Rose and I am having the loveliest conversation with a complete stranger who acquired my pesterchum handle without my knowing. I don't mind at all, this person—or troll, rather—has been sharing some extremely important information with me.

TT: So, tell me again, why are you speaking to me on this matter? Not that I don't mind passing this on to John myself, but wouldn't it be easier just to tell him directly?

GA: Well, My Problem Lies In The Way That The John Human Has Demonized My Race. It Is Understandable, Of Course, Under These Circumstances. I Cannot Approach The John Human or Dave Human Without Either Attempting to Harm Me.

GA: You, However, Are Much Easier To Communicate With. I Thank You For That.

TT: Well it is no problem whatsoever. Thank you too, Ms. Maryam. It has been indeed interesting.

TT: This information should also help John out a lot.

GA: Those Are The Intentions For it, After All.

TT: I will go tell him now.

TT: Thank you, again.

tenticleTherapist has ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix

tentacleTherapist has begun pestering ectoBiologist

TT: John, I've been speaking to some extremely interesting company and they've been sharing some vital information pertaining to your quest of sorts.

EB: whoa, slow down rose! haha whats going on?

As you start a new Pesterlog with John, my screen blacks out and the lights in my room suddenly cut off. A power outage? I remember that there is a generator outside in Jaspers' tomb. I tuck my laptop under my arm and begin the decent into the darkness of my home.

Rose: Be John

I am John and I am incredibly confused. So Rose just pesters me with some fancy Rose-talk and doesn't clarify? She says she has vital information, why isn't she responding. I end the chat and check to see if she's even online and she's not.

I shrug and head downstairs. I'm going to meet up with Dave for some much-needed bro time. That encounter earlier today got a little hectic and I need some normality to save me from the craziness going on.

John: Be Dave

Dave: engage in the most awkward conversation you've ever experienced

CG: JUST SHUT UP AND FUCKING LISTEN TO ME. I'M TRYING TO BE CIVIL.

TG: youre doing a piss poor job at it bro

CG: THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO INFURIATING I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE MY ABSOLUTE ANNOYANCE AT THE MOMENT.

TG: who the fuck are you anyway?

CG: THAT'S UNIMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

TG: i think it might just be a little bit important because you just started bothering the shit out of me out of the fucking blue

CG: AND I DON'T APOLOGIZE. I'M SPEAKING TO YOU FOR A VERY SPECIFIC PURPOSE.

TG: and what would that be

CG: UHH, WELL… I SEEM TO HAVE… WELL… IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT IS EASLIY STATED.

CG: DID IT HURT?

TG: what

CG: YOU MUST BE AN ANGEL,

CG: BECAUSE I FIND YOUR HUMAN FORM ATTRACTIVE.

TG: holy shit

TG: are you flirting with me

CG: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WORD MEANS.

TG: shit! this tard is fucking flirting with me!

CG: REPEATING THE WORLD WILL NOT DEFINE IT FOR ME.

TG: you want my man meat eh?

CG: IS THIS MORE OF THE STRANGE COLLOQUIAL ENGLISH?

TG: youre yearning for some strider ass

TG: you want it so bad

TG: i can hear you begging already

CG: YOU HAVE BELIDDLED ME ENOUGH.

CG: I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE FUCKED UP OR WHATEVER. I REALLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, FUCKING HUMAN.

TG: yeah? whatever

TG: i think im just gonna block you

CG: NO! DON'T DO THAT.

TG: why the shit not

TG: could you speed it up? ive got somewhere to be

CG: FUCK. NO. NEVERMIND. I WILL TELL YOU LATER.

carcinoGeneticist ceased pestering turntechGodhead

I stare, a bit dumbfounded at the pesterlog on my computer. What the actual fuck just happened? I play it cool, like any Strider would and pick my ass up to go play some Call of Duty with my bro.

I just pretend like that conversation never happened.

Dave: Be Dirk

"Ahh-hh, shit, mate- ngghh- you can- you can just go now," I remove my fingers from my boyfriend's body and lift his legs so that they're around my hips. Seeing Jake laying in front of you like this- panting and vulnerable- it's so perfect. Every time we do this, it's like it's the first time all over again. His breath catches as I push into him and I kiss his neck to assure him that I'll be nice.

I place my hands on his hips as I push in. I feel Jake lock his ankles at my lower back, then begin to push me in quicker. "Already, huh?" I whisper, leaning into the crook of his neck. Jake bites his lip and wiggles his hips as I fit the last of my length inside his body. I draw out slowly until only the head is still inside Jake, and then push in quickly, relishing the slap of skin against skin.

"D-Dirk!" Jake chokes out and wraps his arms around my neck.

I start to create a rhythm, my hips rolling into Jake and the tightness around my cock makes me groan in pleasure.

I reach down and start pumping Jake's cock in time with each roll of my hips and soon we're both spent.

"It's been too long." I chuckle as I roll to lie next to Jake. He laughs and smacks my side, laughing through shallow breaths. I sit up to dispose of the spent condom and I look over my boyfriend's body. Sweat stained and flushed muscles with a few scars from his days as an adventurer. Then I notice on his side. A little red cut, already mostly healed over. Small enough to be inconspicuous, but big enough to tell me that it didn't happen by accident.

I drop the condom in the trash and grab a pair of sweats, "So what's that on your side?" I ask, pulling up the heather grey garment.

Jake looks at me, lust still lingering in his eyes, "Huh?"

I gesture to the cut, "That. What is that?"

Jake clamps a hand over it, " I just hurt myself the other day." He doesn't meet my gaze, "You know how it is for a non-Strider in this house." He chuckles and sits up.

I glare, "I thought we agreed on no more secrets." I say, "Were you out trying to stop the Midnight Crew?"

Jake grabs his shorts off the ground, "No." He says, plainly. He pulls them up and still refuses to look me in the eye.

I grab him by the shoulder and turn him around, "Jake. I don't want a rerun of last time." I run a finger along the pink scar along his back for emphasis. Jake knocks my am away.

"I know. But it was for good reason. I mean, it was my cousin! I couldn't very well let some scalawag do whatever they pleased to my family!" He flops onto my bed and sighs. "Are you angry with me?" He asks, resting his head in his hands.

I sit next to him, "No, I'm not." I grab my shades off the nightstand, "No more, though. I really can't afford to lose you, alright?" I slide them onto my face in an attempt to hide the seriousness of my tone. I love him. I _love _him. I want to spend my whole life with him, but I can't tell him yet. It's too soon. "I really mean it. Leave the Midnight Crew alone."

And that's why I can't let Jake have an opportunity to have a second chance. You would just have to take care of the goddamned Midnight Crew yourself.

"Promise?"

"Yes, sir. I promise."

* * *

How 'bout that awkward KK, eh? Or maybe that promise of bloodshed from Dirk?

REVIEW ME LOTS

AND YEAH

LOVE AND ALL THAT SHIT

Also, have faith, there will be some John/Dave. Give me time...


	12. Dirk: Be a hero

I hadn't really noticed how hard it's been raining for the past couple hours. I hope that the lights went out because of the storm and not because of some member of the midnight crew creeping into my house. I clutch my laptop tighter as I descend down the stairs.

I scurry past any doors as I flit down hallways and wonder, briefly, where my mother is. I look to your kitchen to see if anyone is there and nearly crash into one of my mother's wizard statues. God, how I despise these things. No matter, I must get outside so I can connect to the internet and tell John this vital information before he does something foolish.

Grabbing a purple umbrella, I slip outside into the storm.

Rose: Be Dirk

I am now Dirk and I am gripping a weapon I haven't even looked at for nearly two years. I sheathe the sword and sigh. It's hard to believe that I'm doing this again even after everything from before has already blown over. But this isn't a time to be selfish. I'm doing this for Jake.

I'm doing this for the man I love.

As you walk down the hall, I catch my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Grimace. Sword. Shades. It's a moment of unwanted déjà. I turn and continue out to the living room.

I pass Dave as he tries to shove an xbox controller in his pocket. "That's not gonna fit, bro." I say. He looks up at you and continues pressing the handle of the controller into his pocket. I chuckle, "I'm gonna be out late. Get pizza or something."

"I'm going to John's." He replies.

I nod and head out. I'm pretty sure he didn't even see the sword.

* * *

The day before, I found a little camera with a shrunken driven into it in Dave's room when I was putting some puppets in there. It didn't look like any of the ones I used for my ironic Saw pranks, and I definitely don't remember putting it there. I pull it out and because I'm a technology god, I found a way to trace where the camera feed was going.

And that's how I found myself standing in front of a warehouse building just outside of town.

I can see poorly hidden cameras in corners pointed at me and I know that the element of surprise is a complete bust. So instead, I go for brute force, which I've pretty much got covered. I try the door to find it, no surprise, locked. So I lean against it to check its durability. Standing back, I brace for impact and shove my foot into the door, denting metal and successfully forcing it open.

It's a good thing that I start running as quickly as I can. Those bastards open fire on me as soon as the door is down. Luckily, only one bullet grazes my arm and I'm tearing through the building. I can barely see four figures brandishing weapons and I round a corner into a wide room.

There are two main rooms in this downstairs area with a set of staircases; one leading up and one leading down. I figure the head honcho would be upstairs, so I start rocketing up those stairs like a motherfucking champ.

It seemed like most of the firepower was left downstairs 'cause I'm not really met with any kind of resistance up here. This upstairs area is mostly comprised of hallways with lots of doors, though, so anything could be lurking around there.

I decide to check down the hallways to see if there are any guarded doors or anything. The leader would probably be in someplace like that. As I round a corner, I hear rushed footsteps spreading out along the floor.

Taking a moment to check to see if there's anyone following me as I run, I accidentally barrel full speed into a large mass of grey muscle. I feel an incredibly tight grip on my wrist and I look up to meet a broken pair of sunglasses.

"Oh, it appears that I have found the filthy intruder. Excellent." He grumbles in a low voice. I attempt to pull my wrist free but his grasp is too STRONG. He tosses me against a wall, which wasn't much. I've handled much worse in sparring matches with my younger brother. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt, though. I go to reach for my sword when a voice comes from a room down the hall and the giant grey man visibly tenses up.

"Don't tire him out, Zahhak. I want him at his best." He grabs me by my shirt collar and lifts me to my feet. I push at his chest only to meet muscles that felt like boulders. He drops me at the end of the hall. I stand, ignoring the minor ache on my back from the wall-throwing incident and grip my sword. "Do come in, Mr. Strider." I hear a pleasantly disgusting voice call.

I enter the room and slowly pull my sword from its sheath.

Dirk: Be John

I am now John and I am having a jolly old time killing zombies with my bro. Although, he's a little distracted. "Hey, dude, are you feeling alright?" I ask nudging his shoulder with my own. He shrugs. "Do you want to play something else? I mean, you're dying a lot, man."

He turns to me and I can't see anything through his glasses, but I get the vibe of, I-feel-like-shit-right-now radiating from him. "My bro left earlier-right before I left… And he… He took his sword with him. His good one. None of that shitty sword bullshit. I guess I'm kinda… worried."

I give him a bro hug with an extra squeeze for good measure. "Dude, I bet he's fine." I say, "When has he ever not been fine? I mean, he's your bro! He can basically do anything."

John: Be Dave

Dave: Receive the text

I am now Dave and my pocket is vibrating. I pull the device out to see a message from an unknown sender. It's a picture message. Confused, I open the file to see a photo of what looks like thick, cherry Kool-Aid on the ground. The text with it says "THE HERO OF TIME IS JUST A TICK TOO LATE."

Before my confusion can fully settle, I get another picture message of a grey hat laying in the spilled Kool-Aid.

Without a word, I'm running out of the house, John trailing after me.

* * *

OH GURL, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNA BE SO FREAKIN' INTENSE, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!

SO REVIEW ME.

CAPS LOCK GETS RESULTS. JUST ASK KARKAT.


	13. Dave: Make the discovery

CAPS LOCK GETS RESULTS, RIGHT SUCKISHLEMONADE!?

Anyway, I had a lazy weekend, so I had time to write! OHGOLLY, I started writing this fanfiction for this upcoming section... :D

* * *

I really do not believe in what we are doing."

"Oh, I am sure of that."

"Well, I deeply apologize. For this all."

"In all honesty, Ms. Maryam, I'm not all that surprised."

"Did you have an opportunity to tell the John human what I told you?"

"Unfortunately, no. My power went out because of the storm and I didn't have any time to tell him before the abduction."

"Oh."

"I just hope that John doesn't do anything rash."

"Yes, I feel the same way."

"You should probably get going soon."

"Uh, yes. I should. Uh, would you like me to bring—"

"Kanaya, I am fine. I assure you."

"Yes. Of course."

Kanaya leaves me and I feel a pang of sadness. But it is for the best. I don't want her to get into trouble with Jack; from what I hear, he's quite the ruffian. I hear a click at the door indicating that it has been locked. This is by far the strangest hostage situation I have ever been in.

I lean my head against a wall and contemplate escape. Nothing seems like a logical route about going through this. I briefly wonder if these 'trolls' ever tried to overthrow this 'Jack' character.

The door clicks open again and a different troll walks in—or, rolls in. He has extremely large horns and he sits in a wheelchair. His face is battered and orange-brown bruises litter his skin there are stitches up his arm and under his sleave. The heavy door ends up slamming on his wheels and I wish I could go and help him out, but there are iron bars separating me from the rest of the room. Eventually, he pulls himself free and rolls in front of the bars.

"I, uh, well, I'm here to, uh, watch you." It sounds more like a question than a statement. "And, uh, I'm not supposed to let you out or anything. "I eye his healing wounds along his face and neck and his bandaged hands.

"Might I inquire about those bandages?" I ask, approaching the bars.

He flushes, "Oh, uh…" He trails off and his eyes gloss over as he stares at the linen-wrapped palms of his hands. He begins to cry; his tears have a brown tint to them. "I-I—I'm sorry. I-It's, uh—it's—"

I reach through and gently place a hand on his fingers, "It's alright. You don't have to say."

He looks up at you and I can see his amber eyes light up just a little, "T-Thanks, Ms. Rose." He says.

Rose: Be John

"Dave!"

He's acting like he can't hear me. He makes a Bee line for his car.

"Dave, what's going on!?"

He's still ignoring me. His hands are clumsy as he tries to push the key into the lock. I jog over to his side and grab his wrist. He glares at me through shades that are beginning to slip down his nose.

"Dave. What the fuck happened?" My voice is low and I hope that my eyes aren't showing the worry that I feel.

Dave pulls his hands away, "I think my bro's in trouble. I have to help him." He says. He shoves the key into the lock.

"In trouble, how?" I ask. He opens the car door and slides inside. I grab his wrist again and pry the keys from his hands, "Dave, in trouble how?" I demand.

He sighs, "I think he went to stop the Midnight Crew or something." I hear him grumble. A fire flares up inside my chest and I go to the other side of the car and get into the passenger seat, "What the fuck do you think that you're doing?" He asks. I toss the keys at him.

"Do you even know where you're going?" I ask buckling up.

He's a little dumbfounded, but I'm pretty sure he realizes that he's not going to be able to stop me from doing this. "I have an idea." And I don't know why he has an idea, but I trust him. It's Dave. It's my best friend. He'd never lie to me.

John: Be Future Dave

I can't believe I let this happen.

"Hey!"

I just can't believe it.

"Hey, kid! Dave!"

This can't be real.

"Dave! Are you even listening to me?"

I have to go back.

" DAVE!" Someone smacks my side with a stick or something. I turn and see a girl—one of the grey people—with bright red glasses and a cane, "You lookin' at me yet?" She asks.

"Uh-huh." I say. I'm dumbfounded.

This chick puts a hand on my shoulder and she's facing the wrong way, so I'm confused, but I don't really care right now. I'm… numb. She proceeds to put a hand on my face and feel around a bit . "Aren't you upset?" Well that's a weird question to ask.

"Yeah."

"But you're not crying." She retorts. So that's why she felt my face? Weirdo. What is she, blind?

"Yeah. I'm kind of the master of that. I'm grieving like hell. Under these shades, I'm a fountain of totally unironic sadness." I say. I stand up and stare at my bro's body. It's unreal. That's what it is. This is totally, completely, absolutely, entirely, fucking unreal.

"Really? They way you're saying this makes you sound like you're joking." She stands, too.

"Nope. Behind these perfectly pursed pair of lips lays a serious outbreak of nothing but depressing monologues of the sheer fucking brilliance that was my brother. But I'm cool. I'm fucking cool." my voice cracks and I feel tears stinging my eyes and-

"Dave, stop pretending like you're too cool for this and tell me what's really on your mind!" How does this chick even know who the fuck I am! And isn't she the enemy? Christ, I need to prioritize better.

"What's on my mind is whether or not I'm gonna take this sword outta my bro."

She looks vaguely in the direction of my brother's body."Oh, yeah, I was wondering when you were going to do that." She says, plainly. All sounds of sympathy and remorse gone from her voice. Bitch.

"But I don't think I can." I really think I'm going to start crying. I really do. I need to hold it in. Be fucking cool. This isn't anything. I can fucking handle this. I. Don't. Cry.

"Why not?" She asks all casual as fuck.

"'Cause I'm not John, remember." Words are just pouring from my mouth, now. I don't even know if this troll thing even knows who John is. Nah, she probably does. She probably knows where he lives and what he does every day. Fucking weirdos. But what the hell ever. I'm just going to pour my fucking heart out to this freaky alien bad-guy thing and cry like a fucking pussy for just about no reason at all.

"Ugh, I'm not following." Now she sounds annoyed. Bitch.

"I'm not a hero." I pause and I can hear the sound of her breath. "My bro was." I'm totally crying now. "John is. I'm not." I don't even care.

Dave: Be Past John

Dave runs up every staircase he can find and I don't know why. It's like he's trying to break through the roof. He's running as fast as he can and not even bothering to look through any doors. He had said that the Midnight Crew had him, right? So where were they keeping him? What's going on? It's pretty confusing.

But not as confusing as the fact that the entire building is empty of all life.

Dave said that this was the building that Jade was in. She had told him or something. (I was quite angry that she hadn't told _me_, but Dave was driving ridiculously fast and it was scaring me, so I didn't comment. I'll talk to her later.) He was so sure of it… But was this the right place?

"Dave!" I call. My voice echoes through the building and Dave doesn't respond.

I decide to start looking through all of these buildings; this could be an incredibly helpful lead as to what the Midnight Crew is up to. The first room is marked with the astrological sign for Aries, which confuses me. It has nothing but a bed and dresser in it. Everything is grayscale, too, which kinda weirds me out. It's like I'm in an old movie or something. I check the drawers of the dresser to find a couple of tattered shirts and a pair of stripped socks, but nothing valuable.

I move on to the room across from it marked with the sign for cancer. This room is identical. I check the drawers to find some sweaters with the sleeves a bit torn and a little notebook.

Jackpot.

I sit on the bed and open the book.

SHIT. I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW OBNOXIOUS THIS IS. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT ROMANCE WAS SOMETHING I WAS SUPPOSED TO ENJOY. OH FUCK IT ALL. FUCK EVERYTHING. ESPECIALLY STRIDER.—

Wait. Now that's interesting

-FUCK STRIDER FROM HERE TO ALTERNIA. AND FUCK HIS FUCKING GORGEOUS BLONDE HAIR—

I've begun blushing and I'm conflicted about feeling embarrassed for reading someone's diary and creeped out that someone is writing about Dave! I know that they had at least some of Dave's information because they hacked onto his computer that one time… But I didn't know it was going to be like _this!_

_- _AND FUCK HIS STRANGE HUMAN BLOOD COLOR AND PERFECT HUMAN ANATOMY! FUCK HOW HE MAKES ME WANT REDROM WHILE I'M SO FUCKING BLACK FOR HIM! FUCK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!

Flabbergasted, I clutch the notebook in your hand and stare at the silver text. What did I just read? Who was writing this? Was this one of the grey people? One of the grey kids likes Dave!?

My thoughts are interrupted by a scream that sounded like it was from Dave. It was soul crushing.

* * *

REVIEW! :D


	14. Dave: Make some friends

So I totally lost my plan for this chapter, so I just went nuts.

* * *

"I need you to leave now. " I'm trying to stay calm, but it's him. It's fucking _him_. And he knows that I know and _Jesus Christ it's fucking him._

He rolls his shoulders and adjusts his grip on the blade in his hand. "You're back for round two? I didn't think I'd ever see you again. How long has it been, now?"

"Two years." I don't notice how tight I'm clenching my fist. "I see you've got yourself a little posse, now." He just laughs.

"They're pretty helpful, don't you think. Keep me from all of the little shits in the world like you." His voice is so full of venom; I'm sure that's what's sloshing through his veins—not blood.

" Haha, yeah. We suck don't we?" I laugh, too. Hopefully overconfidence will show that I'm not scared… Make him think it, at least. "Miss your arm?" I ask. He stops laughing.

He steps forward and I step back. "Enough chatter, Strider. Let's just get this over with."

Past Dirk: Be Dave

They lunge at each other as if they didn't even hear me.

"Bro! Stop! BRO!" I run straight at them and they still don't react. I fall through their bodies like you're in some dumb movie about ghosts that don't realize that they're ghosts. Something has to be going wrong with the time travel. There was some kind of mistake. I'm back in time now; I should be able to interact with people. Change the future.

I force myself to go back once more. There they are, standing on either side of the roof. I hold out my arms and command time to move slower. They're barely inching into motion. I ignore the blood dripping down my face and the intense pain in my head. I step towards my bro and attempt to allow him to move at a regular speed, but nothing happens. It's like I don't have control over their actions or something.

"Bro! Listen!" I yell, trying to ignore the blood and tears that are shamelessly ruining my coolkid façade. "BRO!"

The fight isn't even that long and my voice hurts from all of the screaming when it happens. He trips. He just falls fucking over and Jack shoves the knife through his chest. "BRO!"

"He can't hear you." A calm voice says from behind. I turn, angry. Who the fuck can even talk to me right now!? I'm the time-guy! I'm the only one who can do this.

There's a girl, about the same age as me. She's one of the fucking grey people with fucking devil ram horns. She's wearing red with a gear thing on the front of her shirt- think, which could be kinda cool. I guess. I glare as I attempt to get all of the liquid off of my face. "And why the fuck not!?" I spit. Specks of blood and tears fly off of my face.

"It's because it's a set moment in time. If you were twenty… maybe even ten minutes earlier… the death wouldn't have been written into history yet, it'd be different. But it's too late now. You can't change this timeline." She takes a step forward, "I'm so sorry."

"What?" I'm in shock. Jack walks right behind the girl and I lunge at him just to fall on my face.

"You can't change this anymore. It's not… it's not possible." She says. "It's kinda just a rule of time."

"Fuck the rules." I say my voice low and eyes piercing.

Without another word, I glare and return to my regular time.

Dave: Be John

I don't even bother with stairs and fly up to the roof. I'm sure that's where Dave is. Screaming. Well, he's stopped now, but, jegus, it was scary. I've never heard Dave scream, or cry, or yell even. He's always calm and cooler than shit. Oh god oh god oh god oh god.

It's really hard to find my way to the roof because there are just about a million stair cases and each one only leads me to what appear to be storage rooms. Finally, I find a door that's slightly ajar and light is spilling into the monochromatic building. I burst out the door to see Dave staring at a crow with a sword through its chest next to his brother's bloody body. His face is covered in blood and he's shaking.

I instantly feel sick to my stomach.

I run to Dave and start shaking his shoulders, 'cause he's not saying anything and that only means bad news. "Dave!? Holy shit! Dave? DAVE?" I'm pretty sure that I hear footsteps behind me. I look behind and see nothing.

I need to get Dave out of here 'cause he's not saying anything, but I don't know what to do with Bro's body! I get my phone out and call the police.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"The M-Midnight Crew—They, they killed another person."

"Sir, can you please tell me your location?"

I tell the woman on the other line everything except that I'm the Heir of Breath. As soon as I hang up, I grab Dave, who's just staring at Bro now and start pulling him towards the stairs. He follows, but his eyes are still trained on the body of his dead brother.

Stairs are harder to navigate down with the dead weight of Dave Strider, so I just grab him and start flying. Before I take him out of the building, I grab that notebook I found earlier. Shoving it into my pocket, I toss the unresponsive Dave over my shoulder and fly out of the building.

Dave: Be Karkat

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know where it is!?" I demand turning on my heel to glare at Kanaya.

She lowers her eyelids in an unattractive glare, "I mean I could not locate your notebook in any of the trucks. Everyone else is unpacked, now. Everything is empty. If you would like to look again, be my guest." She turns and struts away.

"OH FUCK YOU, KANAYA!" I want to play this off as if it's nothing, but that notebook is everything! And, well, if the fucking Heir of Breath finds it, I'm beyond screwed. I have every plan to end that boy in that notebook… And sexual fantasies about his blonde best friend. YOU CANNOT LET ANYBODY READ IT. Not Kan, not Sol, not Jack or Dave or John. Especially not John. So that means getting that freaking book back.

So without even telling Jack, I decide to embark on a journey to retrieve it.

* * *

WOOOO! NOW HERE'S THE PART WHERE YOU REVIEW ME.

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	15. John: Play the Piano

Sorry for the wait! I only got 2 reviews on the last chapter and I had a play open last Thursday (And that means Hell Week from before) so I've been busy with no motivation. I had a sick day today, so I just cranked it out.  
So, yeah, things are happening. Excited yet?

* * *

"So you're telling me that you know absolutely nothing." I grip the bars and glare.

"Nothing."

I tighten that grip until my knuckles are bright white. The knife in my pocket must weigh a ton, because it's gonna tear a hole in my pants if I don't take it out and use it this instant. And this bitch could really go for a quick slicing.

"You don't know anything about your best friend!?" I throw open the gate and step into the room, "You little shit." I tower over her and she just sits, calm. She just stares at me with those weird as fuck bright purple eyes and I want to hit her so bad. "So you don't know anything about Egbert. Alright, I get it." I start pacing; I have to keep my anger down and get the job done "You don't want to get him in trouble. That's fine. I understand. Lets move on to some of your other friends, shall we?" No reaction from the little bitch, "Dave Strider. I want all the information you have on Dave Strider." I lean down grab a little piece of her white blonde hair and she finally shrinks down just a tad. "Tell me now, princess." I slice off the little bit and let the strands fall into her lap.

"J-JACK!" I turn, incredibly angry that someone would interrupt something as important as this. Someone that would call me by my first name, too. Sollux stands in the door panting."Th-thir! Gamzee ith—"

"Honk."

It was spoken. Gamzee said the word rather than honking one of his fucking horns.

"—Thober." I can see his eyes widen behind his glasses and he turns. The lanky frame of the Bard of Rage is down the dark hallway, his golden eyes gleaming.

Shit just got real.

I rise and step out of the cage. "Think about that, princess." I tell her and push Sollux aside. It's time to deal with the other little shits in my life.

Jack: Be John

"Authorities believe that the location of the victim's body was the former hideout for the Midnight Crew. The victim was Dirk Strider, a mechanic at a local Auto Repair shop, aged twenty-three. Dirk Strider was the legal guardian to his younger brother, Dave Strider, who has refused to make a statement in regards to his brother's murder."

I turn the TV off and sigh. I can't help but feel like Dirk's death is my fault. Those photos from the beginning of this whole mess…. Those weird alien things warned me and I got arrogant! How could I possibly think that _I_ could take on the Midnight Crew! Jegus… I didn't even save Jade when she was kidnapped! What good am I!? How can I call myself a—

"John?" Dave's voice is a hoarse whisper. He's been staying with me until things reach some level of normality again. Not to mention, I don't trust him alone in that apartment. If the Midnight Crew didn't do something to him, then HE might do something to him and nobody wants any of that.

I turn to see him wrapped up in my comforter from my bed in his classic broken record shirt and boxers and, of course, his signature shades are perched on his nose. I figure he'll need them to keep up his cool-kid image now more than ever. I've heard him crying in my room these past couple of days and know that he'd deny every second of it if I brought it up.

"Yeah?" I ask, getting up to meet him.

He rests his head on my shoulder and I can almost feel the weight of his sadness, "Hey, think you can play me piano or some shit? It feels like I haven't heard music for days."

I chuckle and take a slight step back. "Anything for you, bud." I go to the piano and rest my fingers on the keys. My hand is still a bit messed up from when I first, well, when I did the windy thing, but I can almost play as well as I used to. "What would you like me to play?" I ask.

He slouches on the piano bench next to me. "I dunno. Anything."

And that's how we sit for the next several minutes. I plink away tunes on the piano to the best of my abilities and Dave leans against me. And it feels… bittersweet.

John: Be Karkat

I am now Karkat and I am furious.

I need to check up on my freaking humans to make sure things were falling apart. Strider wasn't at his house and neither was his brother, so I decide to check up on Egbert. After watching an empty house for about 10 minutes, Egbert brings Strider back to his place and I see them weep with the sounds like two large sacks of orphaned elephant wrigglers, I see Egbert put something on his nightstand. And it's my fucking journal! If Egbert had read a single entry from that journal, then I am entirely fucked!

So I give myself the benefit of the doubt and assume that Egbert hasn't read any of my journal. I assume that DAVE hasn't read any of it, either. Oh, Gog, have mercy on my romantic life.

And of course Egderp lives in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, Washington and it's colder than shit. I forgot my heavy sweater so I'm freezing your genetic material sacs off. Egbert's address is…. 1234 I-Look-Like-Every-Fucking-Other-House-In-The-Fucking-Suburbs. It's got a fucking spring ghost toy thing so after wandering around the suburbs for longer than anyone should have to, I find his house. The lights in just about every room are on, so I can't just sneak in with the cover of darkness.

I groan. This is not what I want to deal with right now. I decide to check and see if they were actually asleep—it's probably 11:00 at night, so if they're still awake they're dumbasses. Soft piano music is playing from the house. I already know that they were dumbasses, so that's no big deal.

I see the two of them sitting at a piano. Dave's got a blanket on him and it looks like John is playing. Slowly, I see Dave reach over and turn John's face towards his. My eyes widen as their lips meet. My blood pusher shatters as John tentatively returns the kiss.

Karkat: Be John

I'm just playing some music and everything is good. Comfortable. I was just spending some cool bro time with my bro… And he gets all weird. Well, weirder than he's been with his brother being…. Murdered earlier that week.

And he just kisses me. And it felt okay… it didn't feel weird. I'm not a homosexual (Or… At least I don't _think _I am…) but I've never really known what it'd be like to kiss another boy. But yI didn't expect it to feel so… normal. Not necessarily _right_ but it didn't feel wrong. It was like two puzzle pieces that fit together, but they were from two different puzzles.

Then it hit me. My best bro. _Dave Strider _is kissing me. And I'm kinda kissing him back. He kinda tastes like cinnamon and apple juice and I kinda like that. It's so familiar. Dave is so familiar.

I think I hear something knock on my window, so I turn and break the kiss. Seeing nothing, I turn back to Dave to see tears falling down his face. "Dave, I'm not a homosexual." I tell him calmly. I'm still a bit distracted by the window.

"Yeah, I know."

I place a hand on his shoulder, "I think you're just confused and upset about what happened to your brother, and that's okay." I say," You don't really like me. You're just confused. I just want you to realize that that kiss didn't mean anything. Okay?" I hadn't taken Dave for being gay or bi or whatever, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of our friendship. I don't hate homosexuals. I don't even think that being homosexual is something that would change the way a person acts, really. So if Dave is a homosexual, then he's a homosexual. But he can't like _me._ That's just…. He can't. We're _bros._ And I'm so…. Well, me. And he's so _Dave. _It just wouldn't—couldn't happen.

So why did it look like his heart was shattered when I said that?

Just then, I get a text message from Jade.

GG: hey have you heard anything from rose lately? she's not answering any of my texts!

* * *

YO REVIEW SERIOUSLY YO YO OYOY OYOY OY OY O OYYOYOY OY OY OYO YO YYOY OY OYO YOY OYOYOY OY OYOY OYO YOYO

Also, do ya'll want more Gamzee... 'Cause that can change how this ends up going... So let me know. :D


	16. Karkat: Do something foolish

Thanks to Underthedarkness for correcting my Terezi! I'm really not sure how I let that happen! XD

* * *

"Dave, I'm not a homosexual." What am I thinking? Kissing John! Idiot! Idiot! John likes the cheesy shit anyway. Even if he wasn't straight, this wasn't the right time. Because timing is fucking everything. I'm just lucky he didn't freak the fuck out. But this still changes things. We'll never be bros again. Never just bros. And definitely never anything more than bros.

I turn back to the piano, "Yeah, I know." But… I just thought… Maybe things could be different. Everything sucks right now! And things don't just suck for a Strider! But… suddenly… it does.

I squeeze my eyes shut and jump back about a minute. John is playing piano and I'm resting my head on his shoulder. I can feel the painful pressure building up in my head. Is this supposed to suck less? I stand up and John stops playing. "I think I'm going to go to bed." I say and start walking to John's room.

"Okay." He answers.

I flop onto the makeshift bed on John's floor and breathe in the scent of the pillow before the investable nosebleed ensues. It's weird. I used to love coming to John's house for a few days and then when I got home I still smelled like him. It was that lingering feeling of John still there. It was comforting. But now… I have no idea when I'll be going home again. When am I going to smell like Dave? When will the smell of John not be the smell of me?

My phone buzzes as I get up to get a nose rag for the onslaught of red bullshit raining from my nasal cavity.

GC: SO WHY D1D YOU THROW TH4T SWORD 4T TH4T B1RD? 1M HON3STLY CONFUS3D.

The grey person—troll—that was on the roof with you has recently started texting me. Terezi. She's kinda helped with the whole your-brother-is-dead-as-shit thing. It's a really weird relationship. We were supposed to hate these guys and they're supposed to be the villains and whatever… but I like Terezi. She helps me stay _me._

TG: i dunno i was fucking pissed what else do you do when youre pissed

GC: W3LL 1 WOULDNT THTOW TH1NGS 4ND YOU R34LLY H1T 4 B1RD? YOUR3 NO7 LY1NG TO M3?

TG: why the fuck would i lie about something like that

GC: 1 DONT KNOW! HUM4NS 4R3 W31RD! YOU R34LLY, R34LLY H1T A B1RD?

TG: i grabbed the sword and threw it like a fucking grecian diskus champ and it landed square in the crows feathery bird boob

TG: i stabbed poes inspiration

TG: i slaughtered big bird

TG: the kookaburra aint singing in no trees cause im the fucking merry merry king of the fuckin bush now

TG: the crow had a sword in its fucking chest and I threw it

GC: OK4Y, OK4Y, NO N33D TO G37 4LL BUTTHURT

The door bursts open and John literally flies in, "Rose is missing." He says as his feet lightly touch the ground, "I need to know how to find her and the only way I can get any leads is through the book I found." John had been pouring over this journal he found back at the Midnight Crew headquarters. He never let me read it, though. And he wouldn't tell me anything that was in it. He just read silently. Frantically.

"Wait, Rose is missing?" I sit up as he flops down next to me, the book in his hand. I try to look over his shoulder but before I could read anything he throws the journal at the wall.

"I don't have time for this!" He cries and stands. He throws open his closet and pulls out his Heir of Breath hoodie. "Where the fuck could they be!?" It looks like John's about to cry and I'm not too sure how to react. I try to stand up to calm John down, but I get a massive headrush and fall onto John's bed, dripping a bit of blood on his powder blue sheets.

John notices that I'm not really, well, doing too good and kneels next to me. He was in the middle of changing clothes, so his hoodie was half on and his pants unzipped. _Don't notice don'tnoticedon'tnotice. _Now would be the completely WRONG time to get a weird man-crush boner for my best bro. The. Worst. Time. "Hey, are you alright? Bloody nose?" He asks.

"Uhhh, yeah. I'll be fide judst, don't freak out abdout Rose. Stay calm and all dat shidt." I say through my bloody nose rag before retreating into the bathroom. Before I leave, I swear I see something move outside of the window, but I'm not too sure. Things are just too hectic right now to be sure of anything.

Dave: Be Karkat

I am now Karkat and I'm going to pounce. I swear to fucking Gog I am going to break through this fucking glass and rip that blue hoodie shitstain into pieces. Just before I get an opportunity to do so, John finishes changing quicker than before so he can go running into the other room.

I stare that the blood that Dave was leaving around. It's red like the other—the Jade human's. Just like yours.

Then you notice the notebook sitting on John's floor. If I were to ever choose a time to go and get it back, now would be it. I test the window and find it unlocked and just as I crack it open just a little bit, Dave comes back into the room saying something to John. His smooth voice is muffled by the tissues wadded at his nose.

"Look, man, I know you're gonnda freak out aboudt dis but it's ROSE." He says.

I've retreated farther back into the tree I climbed to reach John's window as to not draw attention to myself

"Dave, they've already taken Jade once before and they've killed so many people already. I'm going to go rescue her." He starts heading for the window and I scramble down the tree as quickly as possible. He pauses at the window, "Hey, was this open a second ago?" He asks. Then he brushes it off and opens the window completely, "Listen, Dave, I can't risk it. And even if Rose isn't there, then I'll still know where their new hideout is. It's important I need to do this. I'm a… I'm a hero and that's what heros do."

John climbs onto the treebranch where I just was hiding and, clutching my freaking notebook, flies off into the cold breeze to go ruin all of the plans that my leader had made. I could follow him. I _should _follow him. Intercept him on the way and stop him. Probably be deemed a fucking hero by the others' standards. Jack would honor me, stop yelling at me…. It would be awesome.

But instead I look up and the dark sunglasses clad boy staring out the window and holding a bloody tissue to his face and my bloodpusher pushes my candy red blood — matching the douchebag I'm currently infatuated with—a little quicker. So instead of doing something to help the ultimate goal of the Midnight Crew, I start climbing the tree.

* * *

Okay, so this chapter's a little bumblenuts, I know. I keep getting off track.

Next chapter expect some awesomeness involving the Midnight Crew and Gam and possibly some feels. Also, we haven't heard anything about Jake's reaction to this whole thing.

Also, please review! I could really use some help getting motivated.


	17. Karkat: Fix this

"What do you mean you don't know where Karkat is!?" I shrink down a little more. "He was just here wasn't he!?"

I run a hand through my hair and stare at the ground, "I-I don't know, s-sir…" I mumble, "But we a-a-are trying our best with Gamzee and it's not… uh…. Well, it's not really… uh…"

"SPIT IT OUT YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A SENTIENT BEING!"

"He's hurt both Equius and Nepeta!" I blurt. "W-we don't know what to do! Karkat is the only one who actually, well, who knows how to deal with Gamzee when he gets like this a-and they told me to come and get you because we don't know w-what to do!"

Jack sits down at his desk and rests his face in his hand. "Do we have nothing for Gamzee?"

"Nothing here… I-I can go check again if you want…"

"No don't bother." He groans and leans back in his chair, "Okay, okay, send a search party to go find Vantas. Send Captor and Pyrope. I'll try to take care of Gamzee myself." He stands again and grabs the pistol from the shelf on the wall. I roll to the side to let him walk past.

I start following behind him, only getting caught a moment in the doorway, "A-Are you going to shoot him, sir?" I ask trying not to let the worry and fear creep into my voice.

"I'm going to do what needs to be done." He replies.

Tavros: Be Dave

I am now Dave and I feel sick to my stomach. John might be flying off to his doom and I did nothing. I want to go back and try to stop him. Step in. Interfere. Change the course of the future again… but I can't. I already wasted all of that energy for today. On the upside, my nose has stopped bleeding for the most part. That seems to be the only thing I've got going for me right now.

My phone vibrates on the ground and I figure it's just Terezi. I note the silver text and remember having that really awkward conversation with this brat a while ago. I really, REALLY, don't want to talk to this asshat. Not with everything that's happened today.

CG: SO I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD INFORM YOU THE PURPOSE OF MY PESTERING YOU THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE… AND I DECIDED THAT JUST PESTERING YOU WASN'T THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT IT.

TG: what the actual fuck man

TG: you guys kill half the town

TG: kidnap my friends

TG: kill my brother

TG: and now you want to talk

TG: after all of the shit ive dealt with in the past two weeks im going to go ahead and say fuck off jackass

CG: WELL, I AM SO FUCKING SORRY TO INFORM YOU THAT THINGS HAVE TURNED OUT SO GREAT FOR ANYONE, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.

CG: I HAVE QUITE POSSIBLY STARTED DIGGING MY OWN FUCKING GRAVE BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY NOW.

CG: YOU HAVE CAUSED A LOT OF CONFUSION AND GRIEF IN MY LIFE RECENTLY, SO DON'T THINK THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS LIKE SHIT.

CG: NOW I'VE FUCKED UP BIG TIME SO YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING TALK TO ME.

TG: talk to you

TG: fuck off man i dont want to talk to you or any of your fucking troll friends

"Well, it's a little too late, isn't it?"

I look up to see one of the trolls sitting on John's windowsill. I vaguely remember seeing him when I went to go get Jade…. Kind of. His messed up hair and death glare seem familiar. I tense and search the room for any weapon, but of course, being John's room, there's nothing but fucking prank shit and lame movies.

"Get out of here." I warn standing and matching his yellow glare.

He sighs, "My name is Karkat Vantas." I remember now. The photo from the paper. The hacked computer. This was the guy that threatened John and me. This was the asshole that has been causing most of the grief in my life.

I clench a fist, "I didn't ask your name, I told you to get the fuck out of this house." I can feel anger boiling in the pit of your stomach.

"I am the equivalent of 18 earth years old." He says.

What the fuck is this guy thinking!? I lunge forward and grip his neck. "The fuck did I just say, asshat?" I demand. He grabs at my hands, but doesn't try too hard to counter strike. He's fighting for air and I almost feel bad. I let him go and step back.

He takes a moment to catch his breath and stares at me. His eyes are full of pain. Ache. Desire. It's really creeping you out. "Dave Strider… I work for a man. A bad man… I feel weird calling him that… it suggests that he's human… and he's not. I don't know what he is." He grips his neck where I know bruises are going to form, "He makes us do things we don't want to. We're fucking slaves to him." I see him grip his hair out of the corner of my eye. "And we all hate it. We hate him. We don't want to do this anymore. None of us."

"Why are you telling me this now?" I ask as I stare at the posters on John's wall. I can't look at him. Disgusting troll fighting for oxygen in John's bedroom. It's fucking gross. Disturbing. "Why wait until John left? Why not include John in on this? He's the fucking hero, isn't he?"

There's a moment of silence.

"Because I'm red for you."

I stare at the troll, confused. "Is that alien talk for something important, jackass?" I ask.

He stands and takes a step towards I, "Dave Strider… I'm in human love with you."

Hearing those words really piss me off. Who the fuck does this idiot think that he is? Why is he somehow entitled to come in here and spew some information regarding my enemies? Is this his fucked up way of forcing me to reciprocate his fucked up feelings? No. I love John and that's fucked up enough.

Dave: Be Karkat

Staring at Dave as he stands seething at me and knowing who he really cares about… Jack has already taken so much from this boy. It's not fair what I'm doing. This little tangent from retrieving my notebook was supposed to be the ultimate climax to my romantic story. Dave was supposed to realize that I was the mystery he needed to get over the failed would-be relationship he wanted with John. He would run into my arms and we would both cry and be big fucking babies and it would be perfect…

And I realize that this isn't my story. At all. I'm the supporting good guy friend in this romance. I'm the one who has to step back and help Dave be happy.

"I-I love you and that's why I need to tell you exactly what Jack is planning… our weaknesses all of that shit." I'm not crying. I'm not. I don't do that in front of people. Especially Striders.

"I'm not sure I follow and how the fuck do you even—"

"Shut up! I'm trying to tell you some really important shit." I snap. I ignore that my voice cracks. He can't tell but this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm giving up someone that I'm red for, I'm tossing myself into a world of trouble with the most dangerous man I've ever met, and I'm dooming yourself to a world of solitude and anger. "If the John human is doing what I think he's doing, then you're going to want to hear this so you can go save his sorry ass."

He's not happy and I can tell, but he sits on John's bed. "Fine. Spill."

And so I do.

Karkat: Be Sollux

It feels like no matter where I run I can still hear honking and screaming coming from all directions. I don't know what to do. I really wish that Karkat were here. He was white with Gam and that would really fix this situation. All I have is a lot of helpless sheep without a leader. I hadn't felt this lost since Karkat's last disappearance.

I see a familiar shape in the darkness of the warehouse "Fef? Fef, can you hear me?" I whisper down the hall. I edge towards Feferi, who's kneeling in the corner, "Feferi, come on, let'th thtick together." I grab her arm and it's cold. Her body falls down in front of mine and her magenta blood is painted in a wicked smile on her face.

Shrieking, I drop Feferi's limp arm and jump back. I'm feeling a really unnatural combination of rage, fear, and crushing depression. Flecks of red and blue curl around my clenched fists but they fall as I hear footsteps behind me.

"I-I know that it'th you." I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. The steps just get closer. "Tho jutht make it quick, okay?" I squeeze my eyes as cold, wet hands grasp my neck.

"Honk, motherfucker."


	18. Jake: Read the story

GUYS! I'VE FINALLY FINISHED UPDATING THE STORY! NOW I CAN WRITE SHIT TO PROGRESS THE STORYLINE! RYEYSEOEUERIGJHOESGJIDGJODIG JODSIFJDSOGJSODIFDSIOFJODS

* * *

Dear Dave, if you're reading this, it means that I've gone and fucked up somehow and I'm not coming back so you've finally gotten the courage to go through my shit. I must say, that takes balls, bro. I'm proud. It also means that there's a lot of stuff that you still don't know about me. And just a preface: Dave, I'm really sorry. Really, bro, I am. For what you're about to read, for all the shit that might have fucked you up that I did, and mostly for leaving you… However I did leave you. I love you little bro. Always will.

Once upon a time I did some really dumb shit. Like, I don't really understand any of it. I was doing the best I could, taking care of you and all. It was hard without mom or dad and you knew that. I needed to blow off steam and I needed cash. I didn't know that it would take me where it did.

Alright, I'm going to be brutally, painfully honest with you, little man. Your older brother started entering illegal fist fighting in the underground to scrape up some extra cash. That's why I'd get all those bruises. I know, I'm shattering the illusion, but we both knew that there's no way a sixteen year old boy could bruise me. C'mon bro. Anyway, I was going out and I was leading my sponsor right to the top of this underground tournament. Yeah, I was fucking amazing at this, but I wasn't proud of it. But I did meet Jake because of it and… Well, it's made me a better man.

So anyway, every Friday night when you went into your room after training, I would sneak out and go beat the shit out of random strangers for a living. So then this one night, the fights starts getting crazy brutal and this bastard pulls out a switchblade and blades are strictly forbidden so I've got nothing against this brat. So he starts slashing away at me and I'm pushed up against the arena wall—right up to the crowd.

I feel this metal thing press against my hand and it's a freaking knife to use against this bastard. Some random guy in the crowd gave me a flippin' weapon! Yeah, it was fucked up. So I go and I'm slashing away and pushing this guy back to his side when the time keeper calls it and I take the pot.

So, you can imagine that I'm not really up for any more fights, so I decided that by the next Friday, I was going to quit, but my money guy thought that he owned me. So just as I'm about to start another fight that I really didn't want to do, this guy in green—yeah, you know who I'm talking about—he bursts in wearing a green skull mask and brandishing a fancy as shit set of duel pistols and it's pretty much the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. Well, you don't really need that detail. Whatever.

Anyway, green guy bursts in and starts corralling everyone out of the room and I don't move a muscle because I'm really, well, struck. So he comes up to me 'cause I swear to god I'm just frozen and place and he says to me, "Time to get going, love." And he shoves me out the door into the arms of the police. So that's how I got arrested and that's how I met Jake.

So after I got out I swore that I was never _ever _going to let myself get into shit like that again. Only, what's the first thing that happens when I get out? My sponsor calls me up and says he's already got new fights lined up for me. So naturally I tell him to fuck off and that leads to trouble.

We end up meeting to further discuss some things and it all goes to hell. We're fighting and he pulls out a gun so I pull out my sword. I end up cutting off that bastard's arm and ya'know, I just leave him for dead.

I know that it's not fair that I'm pushing this on you right now, but you need to know. Dave, I am so proud of you and all that you've become. I really hope that you can forgive your big bro for being such a fuck up. I love you. Don't ever forget that.

* * *

I sit and stare at the pages in my hands dumbfounded and completely overwhelmed with depression. I remove my tear streaked glasses and rub my eyes. No. No. Dirk is fine. He's waiting for me in the other room. In front of apartment complex. In the car. Somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere.

I fall to my knees and I start sobbing. Heavy, painful cries rip from my throat and echo through the empty Strider residence. I hold the pages to my face and it's all so familiar. I am totally surrounded by his essence. His smell. His things. His unfinished art sitting on his desk. They said that he's gone. He's gone. He can't just be gone. His smile. His jokes. The wrestling matches. The bouts of ridiculous flirting. He can't just be gone. Striders don't just go. And definitely not Dirk Strider.

I stay like this for who knows how long. The pages intended for Dave crumpled in my grasp and emerald eyes swollen and heavy. I can't move. I'm frozen in bittersweet anxiety. It's as if he could walk through the door any minute and apologize for making me worry. It was a robot that they found on the roof of that building. It was a robot with special red gas helping the entirely not human gears crank and clang and power a totally non-human robot in the morgue. He's fine. _He's fine. _

And in that moment of soul crushing depression, I realize just how angry I am. Instead of debilitating depression, I'm met with a rush of red hot fury.

In that instance, I know that I need to break the promise that I made to my dead boyfriend only days ago. I need to put on my fucking costume one last time and finish this. I am done. I'm not going to deal with any of this bullshit anymore. I know that he's not going to come back. Period. And it's the fucking Midnight Crew's fault.

Jake: Be Sollux

Gamzee's fingers tighten around my neck slick with sweat and blood. Maybe Feferi's. Maybe Aradia's. Oh Gog I'm going to puke.

Suddenly, there's the sound of cracking thunder and Gamzee's hands fall away. I'm drenched in an astute feeling of hope. I turn slowly to see one Eridan Ampora brandishing a white stick with glittery smoke twisting and curling around it's tips and sinking towards the ground.

"ED?" I gasp.

He smirks, "Thought you might w-want my help. You're pretty lucky I got here w-when I did."

I don't care about what it would do to his ego, I stumble over Gamzee's body and fall into his arms.

"T-THankth." I whisper into his dumb scarf. I can tell that he's taken aback by this strange embrace, but he pats an awkward hand on my back in a strange attempt to calm me anyway.

"I thought that I wath going to die. I really did. I wath tho thcared…" I cry into Eridan's chest.

He rolls his eyes, "Yeah, and I saved your fuckin' ass. You better be fuckin' grateful." I'm sobbing now. It was really strange how long I've taken Eridan's bragging as a joke.

"D-Did you kill him?" I ask turning to Gamzee's body laying at my feet.

Eridan shook his head, "Nah, I figured that Jack w-wouldn't w-want me goin' around and killin' people." Eridan seemed calm, but I can tell that he was freaking out. His stutter was a bit more obvious than usual and his awkward grasp on my back hand become tight and needy.

I break away from the hopeful prince and reach in my pocket to get my phone. I need to tell Jack what just happened and find out what to do next. I notice that I have a text from Karkat.

"Hey! KK finally got back to me." I say and Eridan peeks over your shoulder.

CG: HEY THERE YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK. JUST THOUGUHT I MIGHT LET YOU NOW THAT I'M NOT COMING BACK. DON'T LOOK FOR ME. I'M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF JACK'S BULLSHIT AND I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANY MORE PEOPLE. GOODBYE, YOU BIG FAT FUCKASS. IT'S BEEN A REAL SHITTY JOURNEY. HOPE THAT YOU DON'T DIE WHILEWORKING FOR THAT JACKASS.

And I feel the prickling of new mustard yellow tears sting my eyes again. That's it? That's my goodbye? Figures. Karkat is such an asshole. He's such a horrible person. Such a horrible fucking person.

* * *

Stay tuned for a NEW CHAPTER! :DDDDDDDDDDDD

Also, I have a tumblr, now. I have two, actually.

Homestuck:

Awesome/Floss: (I know, floss blog sounds weird. Trust me, it's rad.)


	19. John: Be almost murdered take 2

THE REAL UPDATE IS HERE! WOOOOOO! I'm so freaking happy to be done editing this story so we can get on with the action! YYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!  
P.S. You might want to reread chapter 1 before reading this one. Maybe...

* * *

"ROSE START MOVING!" I'm screaming but she doesn't seem to get my meaning. She's running slowly and she keeps looking down the hallways as if she's looking for someone. "I'M SEROUS, ROSE!" I'm not sure why she's taking so long. She's not focusing!

One of the grey people runs up to meet Rose and she finally seems to know what she's doing. " We don't have much time right now. I apologize that we met under such circumstances." She whispers to Rose. I stop running and start jogging in place. "If you happen to see Karkat, would you give this to him?"

"Rooose!" I call. She takes a piece of paper from the grey person and nods.

"And you don't need to apologize. You've done more than I could have asked for. Thank you for everything." She says.

I hear footsteps so I grab Rose's arm and start running again. "I'm gonna give you my keys and you're going to get the hell out of here." I say. She's finally running at about the same pace as me. She nods, "I have a map marked in the car." I continue.

"What about you?" She hisses.

I reach in my pocket and pull out my keys, "I'm a hero. I'm here for a reason." I hand them to Rose as we reach the door I first entered through, "My car is just around the corner behind the empty warehouse." I whisper.

She flits away and I turn to face the enemy… And for the first time, I actually _see _my enemy. Kids. The same age as me and Dave- some younger. They look reluctant, hurt, abused. There aren't that many of them, too. Only 6 are gathering at the hallway. They look tired.

And then they all look like they're going to die or something. They part and a man in black walks down the hall. He grins at me and I stand my ground. He must be the leader. He must be the one I'm here for. I'm not leaving. Not this time.

"John Egbert…" He says his voice slimy, "So good we can finally meet in person."

John: Be Karkat

So after I spilled my guts to Strider, we share the most awkward goodbye I've ever experienced. At least he let me use the front door instead of the window. I didn't bother telling him that I didn't have anywhere to go after this… What good would it do anyway?

I need to hide. If anyone were to see my face, I'd be arrested and sent back to that awful white place with all of the needles.

Strider should be gone by now… off to go rescue John and be a big fucking hero. I don't know where to go and it really scares me. I'm fucking _scared. _I'm scared of what Jack's going to do when he finds out. I'm scared about what might happen to me when somebody finds me.

I can't very well go back to them. Not after the text I sent to Sol. And not like I'd want to, anyway.

What's going to happen to _all of us _when this all blows over? We can't go home… We don't fit in on Earth. Is Egbert even going to pull it off?

I'm living too much in my head when the John human's white car pulls over next to me. I keep walking and the car backs up. I pause and the window rolls down.

"You're Karkat!" The Rose human is driving Egbert's car. I don't respond, I just look confused and tired. "Oh my god! Kanaya told me about what happened to you." She says as she leans over and opens the passenger door, "Get in." She orders.

I hesitate, but what the hell. It's not like I have anywhere else to go.

"Thanks I guess." I mumble. She starts driving again. She looks haggard and ragged.

"Kanaya told me about… well everything that I could understand." She says, calmly. I nod, "She said that you were their leader under Jack. You were the one to keep order." I'd blush if I weren't so fucking exhausted, "She said that they miss you."

"They only miss me when they need me." I spit.

She glances at me and remains calm, "She said Sollux was especially upset. You two were close?"

A small smile graces my lips, "Yeah… You can call us best friends, I guess." I'm gonna miss Sol. He was a reall dumbass and seriously annoyed the shit out of me, but he was a friend. And Gam… fuck, I'm gonna miss him and his bullshit clown fuckery.

"Are you…. Are you crying?"

I smack my hands on my face and try to stop myself, "No! Shut the fuck up!" I'm sobbing, though. I'm sobbing in front of the Rose human. _Fuck. _

"She told me… to give this to you." Rose pulls out a creased paper from her pocket and hands it to me.

I unfold it to see a note scribbled from the others.

"you're not alone dumba22. don't leave wiithout u2."  
"we did see this c0ming."  
"i uHHH,,, THINK WE ALL WANT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE"  
"D- Even I would rather spend my days with all of you lowb100ds than stay here here."  
"R34LLY KARKAT. 1 C4NT B3L13V3 YOU WOULD L34VE US L1K3 TH4T."  
"nobody evven asked if wwe wwanted to come. wwe fuckin did, kar."  
"Jegus Karkat! Way to 8e a serious ass!"  
"Once This Event Has Ended, We Will Find You And Take You Home."  
" :33 We purromise! :33"

Karkat: Be Dave

I stare at myself in the mirror and, honestly, I feel dumb as shit. But Karkat was right. I needed a better disguise. And _nothing _is better than Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff… so… this should be perfect.

Yeah.

I scramble out the door and reread the address Karkat gave me. I sit in the car a moment and breathe. Check google maps again. Breathe some more. Okay. Let's do this.

I'm damn lucky that I didn't get pulled over on my way to the warehouse. I swear I was going at least 30 over the speed limit. I screech to a halt in front of the building and go barreling straight into the doors. I don't care if I get hurt; I need to save John.

The trolls don't even bother trying to stop me. They all look at me with tired eyes and bruises. I don't ask questions, I just look for some kind of help in their eyes.

"They're in the main room." One of them pipes up. "It'th jutht down that hall. The double doorth."

The rest stay silent. I salute at the guy that spoke and sprint to the door. It's opened slightly and I peek inside. The man who murdered my brother is leaning over John and saying something. I creep into the room and come up behind him.

"30 seconds, Egbert…"

I go and knee him in the kidney and drag him back into that hallway. The trolls are totally gone so I've got no backup. I sock him in the jaw and he still has the knife in his hand. I dodge a swipe and run back into the main room slamming the door in his face.

"OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!" I run over and I run to John. As quickly as possible I untie him from the chair and start dragging John toward the door with a broken exit sign hanging above it.

I figure I'm going to need all of my energy to get us back home, so I don't bother freezing Jack as we run down one last hallway. We can hear his heavy footfalls, though. I know he's right behind us.

We burst into the cool night and John finally manages to get us flying. I grab onto his shoulders and he wraps his arms around my chest and we start ascending. I was hoping the first time we held each other wouldn't be in a life-threatening situation, but, hey, beggars can't be choosers.

"My car's parked in the front of the building." I whisper and John starts gliding in that direction. Jack stumbles out of the building brandishing a pistol. He fires twice, but we're already climbing into my car and speeding off back into town by the time he regains his posture.

* * *

So I bet you're wondering...

_Nohbodee, it feels like we're almost at the conclusion and we haven't seen hardly any John/Dave. What the shit?_

Don't you worry my little garden gnomes... The next chapter will hold many-a gay.

SO REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT CHA'LL THINK!  
Also, here are my tumblrs:

(Homestuck/Personal) nooksnifferasshatterson

(Floss) flossyoself


	20. Terezi: Present the evidence

Here! MORE! TAKE MY GAY! TAKE IT~~~!

* * *

"Dave?" John and I are safe now. We're both safe.

"Dave?" I just need to keep driving and get us back to John's house.

"Dave! I know it's you now just _talk to me, please!" _I rip the dumb ass wig off and glare at John through my mask.

I almost stop the car. I don't know why I'm so tense! I just—My heart is pounding, my knuckles are hurting and I just can't handle this right now! Whatever _this _is! "What!? What do you want me to say!?"

"Jesus Christ, Dave!" John sounds like he's about to break from the tension as well. "I don't know! Anything! Just say _something! _I'm freaking out here!" He takes off his glasses and rests his forehead in his hand. "Why did you do something stupid like that, Dave?"

We finally reach the city limits. It feels like I've been driving for hours. "I dunno." I pull off the mask and toss it in the back seat.

"How can you possibly be so freaking calm!?"

"I dunno, man." He doesn't know that I want to cry. That I want to scream and punch the walls and crash the car. "I knew you were going to get your ass into trouble and I knew that I needed to save you!"

John turns to me and his eyes are bloodshot, "Dave, you didn't… you could've… you could've gotten killed!" He starts sobbing. "A-and I don't think I could handle it if you were gone, Dave! Really!"

"And you think it'd be any easier for me if _you _were gone?" I'm burning holes into the windshield, "You think that I wouldn't be up every single night beating myself up because I let you go! John you're the only thing keeping me grounded right now! My brother is dead, all of our friends keep going missing, everyone and their mother has magical super powers! You're the only thing in my life that makes sense!" I ignore the fact that I'm crying, "And I'm one hundred percent, unironically, flipping the fuck out right now!"

There's a silence.

"And the important thing is that neither of us are dead. We're both alive. We're both fine." I take some deep breaths as we pull onto John's street.

John turns to me still crying and looking confused, "Everyone and their mother has super powers?" He asks. Of course, out of all of the shit I just spilled _that's _what he picks out.

Well, now's the best time to bring it up. "I'm the Hero of Time, John." I say. Not like it was the world's biggest secret, anyway. I stop the car in front of John's house. Somehow, I get the feeling that I'm not going to be staying here tonight.

John erupts, just like I knew he would. "How long were you planning on keeping this secret!?" He starts flailing around in the car and pounding on my arm with balled up fists.

I half ass some blocking, but we're both exhausted. "Uh, always. I knew you'd freak out like this." I grumble.

John stops and throws his arms up and smacks his hands on the roof of my car. "GAH!" He brings them down and starts rubbing them, "I freak out because you do shit like this that'll get you killed!"

There's another pause.

"But thank you." He whispers.

I'm honestly taken by surprise. Egbert's real sentimental and all of that bullshit, but he was being dumb, so I expected him to just throw a hissy fit until he passed out or something.

"I was gonna die today, Dave! You saved my dumb ass from utter destruction." He unbuckles and opens his door, "Come on. We really need some cocoa and movies."

I don't know what to do but follow.

* * *

I thought that the moment I sat down, I'd fall asleep, but John bustled around the kitchen like it were any other night, so I felt obligated to stay up. Things went better than expected, honestly. Nobody died, we're home safe… It's kind of surreal. John smiles at me as he hands me a steaming cup of cocoa. He sits down next to me and we sit in a comfortable silence.

It's moments like these that remind me why I like John so much. He's not asking unnecessary questions, he's not bothering me. He's smiling and being there for me and Jesus fuck did I need some of that right now. Screw being cool—honestly, I couldn't care less anymore. I already spilled my guts to John in the car and I don't even know where the fuck my shades are. I just need _John. _And, hey, here he is.

"Thank you, John…" I say.

He smiles, "You're welcome." He sighs. He's staring at me through his glasses and fuck if I weren't so scared I'd lose him forever I'd kiss him right now. But I'm not going to make that mistake twice.

John rests his head on my shoulder, "Can you believe it?" He asks.

"Hmmm?"

He adjusts himself, "I mean, out of everyone in the universe, we're the two with super powers."

I roll my eyes, "John, there are over 7 billion people on this planet and who knows how many off of it. Chances are, we're not the only ones with super powers."

John playfully punches my arm, "I _mean _it's like we're meant for each other, ya'know? We're special. A-And… ya'know…" I see John blushing out of the corner of my eye. Like, really blushing. Maybe I'm optimistic, but it sure sounds like he's leading up to something and that would be the cherry on my night.

He runs a hand through his hair nervously and sits up, "I guess… I guess what I'm trying to say is that we, uh, we work well together." He bites his lip and I've forgotten that we almost died tonight. "And… And Dave?"

I hum in response. I close my eyes and wait. My heart is thrumming in my chest so loud I think I might not hear what he says. Jesus Christ this is it. This is what's going to make up for all of the bullshit I've had to go through in the past month. Five years of pining and waiting and hiding and late nights just dreaming. Yeah it's all of that romantic bullshit that I hate, but _GOD _John's into that stuff and—

"I want to preface this by saying that I-uh, I'm not a homosexual…"

My heart stops.

"But… I don't know! Dave… I feel… I feel like we're meant to be together." And there it starts again. Fuck, I'm blushing. Fuck. Fuck. Can John tell how happy he's making me right now? Does it show in my face? "Dave! Say something! Please tell me that I'm not completely ruining our friendship!"

Dave: Make that mistake again.

So I make that mistake again. I grab John's face and I bring it to mine. Only, this time, it's not a mistake. It's sweet and wonderful. Fuck, that's corny. Whatever. I don't care about anything. I don't need to be cool because I'm kissing John Egbert and this time is better. This time it's right. This time, John kisses back.

Dave: Be Terezi

"Jack." I sing. Guess I'm the only one with the balls to stand up to this jerk. Fair enough. I don't mind.

I don't know what he does, but boy does it _sound _angry. Maybe he threw the chair or something. That would be fun, wouldn't it?

"What the fuck do you want, Terezi?" He spits.

I lower my glasses, "On behalf of the trolls of Alternia, I would like to persuade you to leave us be." I say.

"The fuck are you going on about?"

I smirk, "Well, if you could turn your attention to exhibit A," I throw down three notebooks that the others provided me. "If you look in these notebooks, you will read of accounts written by the trolls outlining the abusive nature of your relationship with us." I don't give him a chance to respond, "And here, exhibit B," I twirl a pistol in my hand," Was this the gun that shot Gamzee?"

"Shut your trap, Pyrope." He growls.

"So it is." I sing, "See, Eridan informed me that he simply knocked out Gamzee using white science magic whatever, Sollux witnessed the event and will testify if needed. But you claim to have subdued him with this weapon?" I start pacing, "Now please inform the jury what a shot in the arm will do to a murder mode bard of rage?" He remains quiet, "Silent I see. The defense rests."

"And who the fuck are you defending, Ms. Pyrope?" Jack steams.

I stand taller, "I am defending my friends, you jerk." I growl.

He chuckles, "Then who's going to defend _you _Ms. Pyrope?" I can feel him approaching me. The loud click of a gun being cocked.

"Why, that would be me, Mr. Noir." The voice could only be described as emerald green. I bet he tastes like gemstones.

* * *

How do I Terezi? GUH. Okay, so we're rolling up to the conclusion. I'm predicting three or four more chapters... SO TELL ME WHAT YA'LL THINK! I have tons of ideas for more Homestuck stories. More superherostuck, some PrivateEyestuck, some MurderMysterystuck... If I get some suggestions, it'll help me decide which to work on.

Also, If I can get 40 favorites, I'll post comic versions of some scenes from the story on my tumblr.

Speaking of tumblr:

Homestuck: nooksnifferasshatterson

Floss: flossyoself

See you next chapter!


	21. Karkat: Be strong

Goodness was this chapter fun to write. I'm home sick today which means fast updates. Here you go! (I updated two days ago, so if you haven't read that update, you should read it...)

Also, I only got a few reviews on the last chapter so far. Where are you all? I know I shouldn't beg for reviews, but they're just so lovely!

* * *

Karkat: Curse the green devil that took your opportunity to play good guy

FUCKING BULLSHIT! THIS IS ABSOLUTE BULLFUCKERY THIS IS! JUST WHEN I GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO REDEEM MYSELF FOR ALL OF THE SHIT I PULLED THIS BASTARD IN GREEN SHOWS UP BRANDISHING THESE WEAPONS LIKE HE'S LORD OF THE FUCKING HUMAN BULGE SUCKING MALITIA! JESUS FUCK CAN'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT IN MY LIFE?

Karkat: Calm the fuck down.

EASY FOR YOU TO ASK! You're just a fucking caption or some bullshit. I have to sit back and watch my love life fall to pieces, my friends die, and some jackass in tights save the day when _I _should be up there! It's not fair!

Karkat: Maybe it's just in your genetics…

DON'T YOU DARE BRING MY BLOOD COLOR INTO THIS YOU NOOK SNIFFING ASSHAT!

Karkat: Well maybe you should do something, then.

Shut your mouth; I'm getting to that…

Jack spins around and disarms the man in green and—wait a sec, this asshat has totally done something like this before! When we had Jade human! Jegus, again! What did we do this time!? Oh, wait, we're talking Jack here. Almost forgot. Looks like John and Dave are both gone, though. Should I assume that Dave did his job right or that they're both dead? Fuck, I hate that both options are plausible.

Anyway—Jack disarms the one pistol in the man in green's hand only to have a second stabbing into his gut. Jack slowly raises his arm in the air and frowns down at the man in green.

I take this opportunity to rush into the front of the warehouse. Nobody's particularly happy to see me because of the whole "don't come looking for me" bullshit I laid out on Sol, but, really, who gives a fuck. Jack could be dead at any moment and that's _big. _

"Hey fuckers, curious about what's happening in there?"

They're sitting solemn and they look more grey than usual. "We're pretty sure we just sent Pyrope to die, jackass. The least you could do is be a bit respectful."

"What, Vrisk? No faith in your friend?" I spit back. "Listen, that guy in green from the Jade incident is in there." That sparks their attention. "He's got two guns and it looks like Jack's fucked." I almost smile because I've really missed being the leader, "If we don't get in there to stop him from getting to Terezi, she might be just as fucked. We don't have much time so we either bull rush in there now or say goodbye to Terezi."

Sol stands, "Karkat, Gamzee jutht… we jutht got thingth back together. We're not ready for another confrontation like thith." He says. The other trolls groan agreements. "Feferi ith dead, half of uth are hurt pretty bad and Gam'th arm ith entirely fucked."

I don't have time to process all of the information just thrown at me. I can't let this slow me down. As shaken as I am by hearing about Fef's death, I have to keep chugging for Terezi's sake."You're just going to let Terezi die!? From what it looked like, she was the only one with her shit together! She was the one that was risking her life to stand up for you assholes!" I remember the letter, "So that note was bullshit? That was just some fake pep talk to bring me back!?" I'm angry again. That passion of actually doing some good has burned out. Now all that's left is hatred. "Well fuck you then." I say.

Before I can move towards the door, a gunshot sounds through the warehouse followed by a shriek from Terezi.

I barrel towards the door and force it open whether or not these assholes want to help me.

Karkat: Do something

Jack is on the ground his one eye glassy and a pool of bright red spreading across the floor. The man in green looks like he's crying and Terezi has pressed herself against the wall.

"Are you here to do us a favor, or to wipe us out?" I ask, balling my hands into fists.

The man looks at me, "I'm here to avenge my lover." He says. Deadpan. "But I'm not feeling any better than before I came." He drops the gun. Good, he knows that killing me isn't going to help. Maybe this fuckass isn't as stupid as he looks.

"That's 'cause revenge doesn't help anything, dumbass." I take a step forward. "When someone dies—especially by the hands of something as vile as Jack Noir—you be sad. You be sad for a long time." I'm feeling pretty pissed actually. "You don't instantly get over it—you don't instantly get over anything. When shit happens, it sucks. You take the time to be sad and weak and all of that bullshit."

The man falls to his knees and rests is face in his hands.

"Are… are you alright?" Terezi asks from the corner.

He shakes his head and laughs sorrowfully, "No… I'm not alright… and… I guess that that's okay. It's normal…"

"Killing Jack was a good thing so thanks for that." I continue, "But killing Jack isn't going to bring anyone back. "

"I know that…" He whispers. "… What's your name?" He asks standing and removing his green skull mask. His knees to his feet are soaked in blood and he looks like an all around mess.

I stare at him a moment. It was a weird time for introductions, but what the hell. "Karkat Vantas."

"I'm Jake… I'm Jake English… Thank you… Out of everything, I think you've helped me the most."

I walk over to Terezi and slip my hand into hers and I start walking out. I pause, though, and turn back to Jake. I extend a hand towards him. He smiles and takes a step forward to accept my peace offering. I lead the two back into the room where the rest of the trolls sat in their sorry pity-me-for-I-am-so-fucking-worthless party.

I want to be cynical and rude. I want to treat them like shit because of what they just did to Terezi… but I won't. I need to be a strong leader so that they don't have to fake strength in a time of loss. Jake helped me learn that.

"Where's Feferi's body? We need to give her the respect she needs."

Karkat: Be John

So whoever said that real life kisses aren't anything special is a liar. Dave grabs my face with his free hand pulls me into one of the best things just about ever. Like, better than Ghostbusters status. And, yeah, I'm not a homosexual. I'm not. I just… I just want to keep kissing Dave Strider for forever. And that's okay, right? I mean, if two people like each other why shouldn't they be together?

We pull apart too soon and I'm steaming up my glasses. My heart is pounding and I can still feel his lips against mine. I want it again, but I don't know how to ask. I feel weird. How do you do this relationship thing?

Dave sets his cocoa on the table and turns back to me. I realize that he's not wearing his shades and he's not sleeping. His eyes are a deep crimson and it's weird how I didn't notice until now.

"Was that… okay?" He asks, avoiding eye contact. I can see the tips of his ears turning red. Goodness, am _I _making the concrete statue of Dave Strider _blush_?

I want to respond in a clever way, but I've always been bad at that. "Yeah. That was okay." I respond, dumbly. I gnaw gently at my lip and wish that he would kiss me again.

"Does that make us…" He scratches the back of his head, "Like boyfriends or whatever?"

I blush at the word. I don't really know what it makes us. I don't really like saying boyfriend… It sounds somewhat impersonal. Partner isn't much better, either. And either way, it makes me feel weird. "I… I don't know what we are." I admit. "But does that matter right now? We just barely escaped death! Can't we save logistics for later?"

He gets the picture and moves to kiss me again, but stops himself, "Wait… where's your dad?" His eyes flick to the hallway then the staircase.

"He left for that business trip this morning." I tell him, almost laughing. Dave was there when he left. Goodness he can be a real airhead.

"Oh." Was all he said before pressing his lips against mine again. Yeah, I'm okay with this. So okay with this.

* * *

So the next chapter is the last one which means LEMONS FOR ALLL! Also, a poll for which fic I should start on next... So yeah, I'll see ya'll soon for the conclusion! Please review!

Tumblrs:

Homestuck: nooksnifferasshatterson

Floss: flossyoself


	22. Dave: Give him his gift

And here it is! The conclusion to this epic adventure! WOOOOO! Warning: LEMONS AND LEMONS AND LEMONS!

* * *

The following April…

"_Happy birthday dear JOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNN!_ _Happy birthday tooooo yooooooou!"_

My dad sets the cake in front of me and I lean down to blow out the candles. Hardly fair for them, though, because I'm the Heir of Breath! I barely blow and they're all out. Piece of cake. Ha, I'm the pun master. The candles relight again and I give the crowd a suspicious look.

"So one of you tried to pull one over on the prank master, eh?" I whisper. My eyes fall on my dad and he whistles as he looks away, "DAD!" We laugh and I give the candles one hard gust of air and they're out for good. We shell out individual pieces of the vanilla cake and laugh and enjoy each other's company.

My dad hands me a box wrapped in blue paper. I tear through eagerly to find a can of shaving cream and a note.

_Dear son,_

_You're an adult now and that means that you're going to be taking on a lot of new responsibilities. It's going to be a bit different for you because you're a superhero, but I get the feeling that you'll do just fine. I'm so proud of you, son. You'll always be my little boy. _

I smile and get up to properly hug my dad.

When I sit down, Jade starts freaking out and shoves her gift in my face. I put down my cake and take the lime green wrapped gift. Inside a little box is a container of name tags.

"I figured that you could pull some pranks with them!" She says.

I beam up at Jade, "Thanks!"

Rose hands me hers next. It's wrapped in lavender with black and various shades of purple string. Inside is a book titled _The Heir of Breath Saves the Day. _A picture book featuring me! "Whoa! Rose! How did this happen!?" The author reads Rose Lalonde. "You wrote a book about me? And a children's book? That's so not you!" We're both laughing and smiling.

She smiles, "My usual writing is pretty dark. This was the only way to represent it fondly." She explains.

"Thank you so much!"

Dave hands me a crushed paper bag and I flush when our hands touch.

Dave ended up moving back into his house before my dad got back from his business trip. It had been really hard at first, what with all of his bro's stuff still all there. He's better now. We hang out there a lot. Actually, I'm going there tonight. Dave says he's got a super special secret present for me there and I think I know what it might be…

Inside the bag are gushers and a pair of blue wire frame aviator shades. "Dave! I haven't had gushers in _years! _"I hug him and awkwardly from my seated position and then I slip the shades over my glasses, "Hey, am I cool yet?"

He smirks, "Definitely, Egderp."

The party dies down pretty quickly—I think Rose and Jade know what Dave has planned for me too- and my dad leaves to the kitchen. I'm not sure if he wants to bake more or try to clean up the mess he was making.

Rose and Jade wave goodbyes before taking off. I peek my head into the kitchen and say goodnight to my father.

Dave's waiting by the car when I have my stuff together. I'm nervous to say the least. I know what's going to happen when I get there. I mean, Dave and I have done some stuff before. Well, _he's _done stuff to _me. _And, yeah, it felt really, really good. But now that I'm 18, I feel like it's time that we do _other _stuff. The stuff that will get my little virgin heart pounding. And I _want _it. I really, really want it.

I spend the entire trip worrying and eventually Dave grabs my hand to calm me down. We pull up to Dave's apartment and, honestly, there isn't anywhere I'd rather be.

John: Be future Dave

John is sitting on my bed in nothing but a pair of powder blue boxers with his legs dangling off of the side kicking up and down—_teasing me_. His erection is making a nice little tent in them and Jesus fucking Christ I've never seen anything as beautiful. He's left his hand resting on his thigh and he's slowly dragging it up and pulling away the fabric of his boxers to reveal more of his leg. He's leaning back on one elbow and _fuck _for a virgin he sure knows how to turn a guy on.

I strip off my shirt and approach him again. I lean down with my legs falling between his and he goes in for a kiss. Eager. I press my hand flat on his chest and push him into the bed and he falls smiling. He hooks his legs behind my back and shoves my hips ever so lightly into his groin. Our bulges barely brush through the thin layers of cotton of our boxers.

He sighs into the kiss as I shallowly thrust into his clothed erection. The friction makes me groan and I do my best not to sound too needy.

"D-Dave?" He asks breathless when we break apart.

"Yeah babe?" I hum as I pull of his glasses and gently toss them onto my nightstand.

He rests his hands on my shoulders and slowly drags them down my chest. God—Fuck- _Shivers _down my spine, "I love you." He whispers.

I chuckle and kiss him again, "Love you too, dork."

He wriggles his hips and unlatches his legs from around me so I crawl off of him. I lay with my head on my pillows and he crawls to my lap so that his face was level with my crotch and fuck yes my boyfriend was finally going to give me head.

Slowly, he reaches under the waistband of my boxers and drags them down at an agonizing pace. His cool fingers against my burning skin tickled the sensitive area just above my dick. He frees my erection and doesn't hesitate to start loosely pumping it in his fist. Instantly I start bucking my hips into the touch.

"NNnn—Yes—John!" I lift my hips to let him pull my boxers off the rest of the way.

He presses a chaste kiss onto the swollen head and licks up the shaft. Pink lips part to accept my girth and he picks up pace almost. He starts bobbing his head up and down while twisting a fist over the rest of my dick. With his free hand he starts fondling my balls and you'd think it was _my _birthday or something.

"Fuck! John, w-when did you learn this!?" I had given John a few blowjobs but not to this caliber.

John pulls off and looks somewhat sheepish, "I, uh… I've been watching a lot of… well… I've been watching a lot of porn lately." He's blushing a beautiful shade of red.

I almost laugh but he starts jerking me off again and my laughter is reduced to suppressed moans. "Is it… okay?" He asks. He's looking at me through half lidded eyes and god I've said it before and I'll say it again, John is the sexiest person alive.

"J-John, it's _your_ birthday… don' t let me hog all of the—Ah—Fuck, you know what I mean." I place a hand on his shoulder and he stops.

I slip out from under him and he takes my place on the bed. I lean down start nibbling on the tent in his boxers. I lick up and down moistening his groin. He lifts his hips and starts shimmying out of his boxers. I pull off the garment and rest a hand on his hip rubbing lazy circles into the pale flesh there.

I take the entirety of John's erection into my mouth, inch by inch, until my nose is nestled in the dark curls of hair at the base. He's writhing under me and I can tell it's taking a lot not to buck under my touch. I pull off quickly to stop myself from gagging.

John's breathing has become labored as I go down again. "D-Dave!" he cries and I start bobbing up and down. "Nnn—You might want to—ah—to start- nnn you might want to start, uh, prepping now!" He gasps. I pull off again and wow this kid is being forward tonight.

"And you're sure this is all good?" I ask again.

John rolls his eyes, "Dave, if you don't fuck me tonight I swear I will hit you."

I raise my hands in mock defense and pick up the bottle of lube from the nightstand. The cool liquid spills along my fingers and drips onto the bed. "Ready?" I ask as I gently rub the lube into John's ass and along his entrance. He nods and I slip one finger into his body.

He squirms at my touch but settles by gripping the sheets. I rub my finger along the wall of muscles and it's really soft… I push in and out gently as I spread lube and stretch the muscles. Slowly, I can feel John relax and his grip loosens on the sheets. I press a second into him and he grunts.

"You okay?" I ask.

"I'm the fuckin' Heir of Breath. I can handle this." He says, but I know it must hurt more than he lets on. I push my fingers apart and stretch further and John's face contorts slightly in pain.

I start pumping his erection again to help him along and he responds well. I push my fingers in as far as they'll reach and John actually moans at the touch. I pour a little bit more lube onto John's ass and a third finger joins the first two and I thrust in and out of John's body.

John relaxes around my fingers and actually starts groaning in pleasure. I can feel him pushing down as if to get more friction. I do my best to oblige and John starts writhing under my touch. He starts pumping his cock again as he squirms under my touch.

"Okay, okay. That's enough. Please, Dave. Now." He's breathing is labored and his flushed skin could be steaming in the cool air of my bedroom.

I pull out my fingers and start coating my dick in lube. John tucks an arm behind his back and teases his cock gently with his index finger and thumb. I take a shuddering breath and try not to just pound his body right then and there.

I kiss him again as I gently push into him. His lips and neck gain nips and sucks that trail down his chest. He's trying to control his breath as I push in. It's almost painfully tight, "Hey, relax, babe," I remind him and he nods. I can feel the muscles start to relax as I fully sheathe myself in his body.

Pausing, I let John adjust to the sensation. I give a pert nipple an experimental flick with my tongue and I'm met with a tightening around my cock and a soft groan. I take that as a good sign and start lapping at it as I pull out slowly and draw back in.

"Mmnnn… Dave t-that feels good…" He groans as I begin to pick up pace. I let my fingers trail up and down his cock as I move to the other nipple.

I push in particularly hard and I earn a loud gasp from John and his back arches beautifully. "Yes! Yes! Dave right there!" He cries and I start hammering into that spot over and over. I peer over my shades and I can see that John's brows are scrunched together, eyes squeezed shut, and mouth hanging open.

With each roll of my hips a loud moan escapes John's lips and at this rate, I'm not going to last much longer. The tight eat enveloping my cock and the knowledge that John's feeling good too—fuck it's a dream come true.

I build up a fairly steady rhythm and John has started really enjoying himself. He's let his eyes open and I meet clear blue eyes. He smirks and I can feel him tighten and loosen the muscles around my cock and _holy fuck it feels fucking amazing. _

"John! Fuck! Keep that up and I'm gonna—" He wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me into a bruising kiss.

I lose my rhythm entirely and it becomes a hot slapping of skin against skin. I don't want to cum before John but at this rate I'm going to lose it. I can feel the heat of orgasm pooling in my stomach.

"I'm close too…" John whispers at my lips. I try to aim for the spot that got him all hot earlier but I'm almost too far gone. I get one good thrust in and my breath hitches and I try to pull out. "No—" he says, "No, inside." He commands and I don't complain.

With a shuddering breath and a hard thrust, I cum inside of John Egbert. I give a few extra thrusts as I shoot into him. I make eye contact with him, my chest heaving and cock still buried inside his body. I grab his erection and start pumping it.

His eyes screw shut again and he starts writhing under my touch. I pull out and kiss John's neck and suck lightly. He pushes his face into the pillows and opens his mouth in a wordless gasp as he cums on his stomach.

Dave: Be John

I am exhausted and my heart is pounding in my ears. Dave climbs up on the bed and collapses next to me. My ass is sore but I saw that coming. I'm happy, though. I'm so, so happy that we did this.

"Happy birthday, John." He says. I chuckle and press a kiss into Dave's mussed hair. "Hey." He says, sitting up and fixing his shades, "So I wanna change my hero title thing."

I laugh, "What? Why? What's brought this up?"

He shrugs, "I'm thinking of changing it to Knight of Time instead of Hero of Time. For, like, irony and shit." He chuckles.

I scramble into my bag and retrieve the name tags that Jade gave me. Using a random sharpie on Dave's nightstand, I scribble "Knight of Time" and press it onto Dave's bare chest.

"There you go." I laugh, "Hey, you remember when we got together?" I ask, "When you saved me?" He hums, "I guess you can say that you're my knight. So I like it." He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a sweaty, sticky hug. Gross but good. I love him. I _love _him.

* * *

"Lord English, terrible news from Earth." Ms. Paint stands in the doorway a white beacon in my bleak, dismal existence. "Jack has failed. He was murdered. Karkat's team has returned to Alternia using makeshift trollian technology."

I roll my eyes. I had no faith in him anyway. "Then we move on to the next team. The older ones. They'll handle it."

"Would you like me to place Meenah in charge?" She asks.

"No. She'll get a swollen head. Figure something out. I trust you." I grin. Best not dwell in the past. We will cause ultimate destruction on that pitiful planet. And it will be good.

This is a _fun _game, isn't it?

* * *

AND HERE THERE IT IS! Please keep reviewing and tell all your friends about it! If we get 40 favorites, comics of some fun scenes will be up soon!

AND HERE IS THE POLL FOR THE THINGS I CAN WRITE NEXT:

Do the Windy Thing Sequel: I have no plans for this next. I made the open ending in case you guys are SUPERCRAZYOVERENTHUSIASTIC about a sequel... O.O John/Dave would be the only pairing, really...

Elementary My Dear Egbert: 10 seemingly unrelated people are gathered in a mysterious location. Event leads to event and somebody has blood on their hands. 40s AU John/Dave multichap ... not really a romance fic, though.

Evident: Sollux holds a key piece of evidence but refuses to give it up to hot shot detective, Dave Strider. Not without a price. AU Dectectivestuck Dave/Sol fairly short and super smutty

Of Robots and False Identities: Jake English, a bumbling spy, bumbles himself into Dirk Strider's convoluted robot project by pretending to be helplessly in love with the robotic engineer. Superspystuck AU Dirk/Jake multichap and smutty

So tell me what you guys wanna see next! In the mean time I'll probably work on some Asscreed one shots or something.


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